It’s Saturday morning. I’m ready for the National Garden Bird Count: you have to count all the birds in your garden for half an hour and report them via app. “I start now counting,” I say to my wife and sit in front of the window with my binoculars. “Nice!” she says, “Then I will do the flower bulbs.” A little later she is enthusiastically crouching through the garden. After half an hour I give up and send in my contribution. Number of observations: zero.
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