After the teacher at the Catholic school told the Easter story, Tim came home in all states. “I believe in the theory of evolution. Can I still trust what she says, or is it all ‘her truth’?” Tim was four and his mother thought: this is going to be difficult. She was right. A few years later, Tim begged her not to go to that “excruciatingly boring” school. They did not understand him, he received little guidance and he understood little about the other children.
That giftedness shows itself not only in what children can do, but at least as much in what they cannot do short documentary Through the trees (NTR) clear soon. Ultimately, Tim (now 17) goes through six schools and sits at home for three extended periods. “A large part of the gifted drop out,” says Tim’s mother. Schools simply have trouble with children who deviate. “The children are playing the victim role, because they are always told that they are doing it wrong.” In the Netherlands, between ten and twenty thousand children do not go to school; according to the makers of Through the trees a lot of them are gifted.
In the end, Tim was found to have an IQ above 145. He views the world with friendly wonder and is an enthusiastic bushcrafter: a hobby for people who like to be left alone. He roasts a self-caught fish over a campfire. When asked how he’s going to celebrate his eighteenth birthday, he says he’s going for a walk in the woods with a friend. No, he doesn’t feel like drinking, he says with the look of a boy who wonders if he really should explain to this adult that drinking is a pointless activity.
For the film, he was followed at a boarding school that focuses on gifted individuals between the ages of 16 and 20. “Messi is a great football player,” says the director. “These guys are also very good at something, they just haven’t found their ball yet.” Tim seems to be in good hands, but his school is not for everyone: it costs more than 15,000 euros per year.
short life
The hopeful ending of Tim’s story was a welcome consolation, because two hours earlier KRO-NCRV had seen one of the saddest programs broadcast of the year. The documentary made in collaboration with 113 Suicide Prevention Endlessly bullied was about the short life of Maryana, who was bullied to death when she was fourteen. We saw happy images of her as a baby, heard about her parents’ divorce, were taken to the playground where the bullies from primary school pinned her. She would then quickly run into her house, where she would play with the animals. It was a religious “us-knows-us” village.
The Maryana virus was invented at school. Anyone who had been near her was no longer allowed to play with others. Her teacher had had many conversations with Maryana to make her more resilient; she had also talked to the bullies. Her mother spoke to other parents and was told that “their child” would “never do such things.” Police concluded that “hard evidence” of the harassment was lacking. Indeed, the lessons are there for the taking.
Online bullying was added in high school. Reactions to Maryana’s Instagram posts were flooded with hate speech, which only got worse when she announced she was bi. On the last day of her life, Maryana spent hours happily working on a Christmas arrangement. No one noticed her until she was suddenly gone that evening. Her grandmother lights three candles every morning over her granddaughter’s photo, pats her face, and says, “It’s going to be okay. It’ll be fine.”
You can talk about suicide at the national helpline 113 Suicide Prevention. Phone 0800-0113 or www.113.nl.