Grandma: “I have four children and eight grandchildren, aged 2 to 15. We will soon be celebrating Sinterklaas together. Now I want to try to make the unpacking of the presents a bit more relaxing for the little ones – three of 2 years old, one of 4 years old and one of 5 years old. What happens now is that they quickly tear off the paper and quickly take the next present out of the bag and barely see what is inside.
For example, it is not possible to hold them on your lap and wait because the excitement is too great. How can I make this a bit calmer? There’s no point in hiding the presents because they will go crazy.”
Busyness is part of it
Bas Delivery: “The great thing about the Sinterklaas party is that it is a family event. There are the little ones who still believe in Sinterklaas. In addition, there are the children who already know that Saint Nicholas does not exist, and are now very solemnly part of ‘the big ones’. And you have the adults who read each other poems with subliminal messages that go completely over the children’s heads.
“This party is primarily for the little ones. The fact that they are crazy is part of it. The 2-year-olds are especially impressed by all that wrapping paper and the unpacking itself. For children in this age phase, revealing something that is hidden is the most fun. The gift itself matters less. This also applies to a lesser extent to 4 and 5 year olds.
“That lack of attention to the gift is not always pleasant for the givers who have put a lot of effort and money into the gifts, but that is part of it. Remember: for the children, Saint Nicholas is the giver, not the adults.
“Divide the celebration into phases. Let the youngest children unwrap the gifts first. The little ones should be allowed to tear. The 4 and 5 year olds have to learn to wait: ‘No, now it’s someone else’s turn.’ That doesn’t come easy for them. Set aside a corner where they can play with their new toys afterwards, or put them to bed. Then the party can continue for the older children and adults.”
Dispense unpacking
Rianne Kok: “Children of 2 do not yet have the capacity to postpone their primary reactions. That impulsiveness comes from the urge to learn and discover. So you cannot indeed expect a child of this age to calmly play with something when there is still a mountain of parcels waiting. The tension is too great for that.
“The 4 and 5 year olds can have a little more control over this, but even at that age you still see enormous differences between children in terms of self-control.
“What can help is not to put all the presents down at once, but to keep a few behind. After unpacking, you can then give one or two more parcels that Piet has just delivered. There are also families who spread the presents over a week, so that children receive a present five times, for example, with which they can then play quietly.
“You can also put a twist on your Sinterklaas evening by asking the youngest children to help the older children and adults unpack.”
Bas Levering is a former lecturer in general pedagogy. Rianne Kok is an associate professor at Erasmus University Rotterdam and obtained her PhD on the development of self-regulation in young children.
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