‘Nice to see how the babies react to each other’

Amy: “We met nine years ago. We both gave exam courses in Leiden at the time.” Luke: “So we helped high school students prepare for their final exams. I studied physics in Delft.”

Amy: “And I speak French in Amsterdam.”

Luke: “Not long afterwards I moved to Oxford to do my PhD in theoretical physics.”

Amy: “Then we had a long-distance relationship for a while.”

Luke: “Going to Oxford helped speed things up. Then we really had to decide whether we liked each other enough.”

Amy: “And it was, so then I moved to Oxford too. We lived there for a few years, until 2019. I did a master’s degree in English literature there.”

Luke: “We like it there. You quickly find yourself in nature and it is wilder than in the Netherlands. It is less raked.”

Amy: “After his PhD, Luuk was able to go to Copenhagen with a colleague for follow-up research.”

Luke: “But I didn’t do that. In physics it is common to work at a different university in a different country every few years. But I didn’t want to drag Amy into that. What was she going to do each time?”

Amy: “So then we went back to the Netherlands.”

Twin

Luke: “I have found a job at the Central Planning Bureau in The Hague. This is mainly known from calculating election manifestos, which concerns the next four years. But there is also a CPB department that looks one or two generations ahead. That’s where I work.”

Amy: “I work at Utrecht University, where I support scientists with grant applications. I mainly deal with financial and process aspects, and also check whether the research plan is clearly formulated.”

Luke: “The past two years have not been easy.”

Amy: “I was pregnant with twins two years ago.”

Luke: “He was born after 24 weeks and died immediately after birth.”

Amy: “Not so long afterwards I became pregnant again, again with twins. Puck and Kaat were born after 32 weeks. They then spent another four weeks in the hospital, ten of which were in the incubator.”

Luke: “You can imagine that a second twin pregnancy was exciting.”

Amy: “Especially because Puck and Kaat are ‘mono-mono twins’ and shared an amniotic sac, which is very rare and not without risks.”

Luke: “They are now eleven months old.”

Amy: “Twins are of course different from one baby, also because it is more work. So you don’t want to leave the other person with the twins. Last week Luuk went to the Concertgebouw and I am also going to do something fun one evening next week. But in principle we both prefer to be at home, so that the other is not alone.”

Luke: “It’s fun to see how the babies react to each other. If one sits with you, the other wants to sit with you too.”

Amy: “We also read books about multiple births. So we are now familiar with concepts such as twin escalation syndrome. That one person does something naughty and the other overdoes it, or that they reinforce each other in cries and tantrums.”

Luke: “Puck and Kaat seem to have a slightly different character. Puck is a bit more enterprising, Kaat a bit more waiting.”

Amy: “Puck is already crawling, Kaat is still crawling.”

Luke: “In principle we both work full-time, but I currently have one day of parental leave and Amy two days. In practice, I now work four days and Amy three.”

Amy: “So together we have parental leave three days a week. On the other two days, grandpa and grandma come to babysit. Alternating between my parents and Luuk’s.”

Lots of mud

Luke: “And we both work from home for two days.”

Amy: “Working from home is nice, but it also has disadvantages. Then I’m working upstairs and I hear the children crying downstairs. That is not always easy.”

Luke: “I often go running during my lunch break, even when I am at work in The Hague. I walk between 8 and 25 kilometers every day. You could call it an addiction. My favorite thing is cross-country running, which they do a lot in England. You walk on unpaved roads, for example through the forest.”

Amy (laughing): “Lots of mud!”

Luke: “You walk up and down hills. It is much more varied than normal running.”

Amy: “I also run fast, but less fanatically than Luuk: up to eight kilometers, twice a week.”

Luke: “We are going on holiday to the South of England in June. Canterbury and Brighton.”

Amy: “We’re going for two and a half weeks. Then we rent a car and stay in houses.”

Luke: “We would actually like to live in England again.”

Amy: “But the barrier becomes higher the more settled you are. Another dream is to one day have a holiday home in England, if we can afford it.”

Luke: “Preferably in the Lake District in Northern England, a region with many lakes and hills. It is one of the wettest places in England. On the Irish Sea.”

Amy: “You can enjoy walking there. We love that more than a beach holiday in Spain.”




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