A communication system is made up of a sender, a message and a receiver. In addition, communication channels and noise that generate interference.
This scheme, which at first glance seems so clear, is not always easy to carry out in interhuman relations.
Emotions come into play, taking various forms, coloring each link according to the characteristics of its members (extroverts, introverts, shy, uninhibited, among others).
One factor to take into account is the environment in which the communication takes place. A casual chat with an acquaintance, a work meeting, or a dialogue with family, partner or friends is not the same.
An increase in emotional tension exacerbates the peculiarities, revealing some aspects of the internal world.
As? I don’t understand!
Just as it is not easy to meet another person, it is not easy to communicate either.
Flooding with words, drowning the other, is not synonymous with saying or being heard.
A drought of expressions, uncomfortable silence, plunges into uncertainty and anguish.
Silence can constitute a message, and at the same time the impossibility of expressing oneself.
Excesses by quantity or absence, indicators of overflows and suffering.
It doesn’t come out, how do I tell him?
When a person matters, a tsunami of feelings hits.
“What if I’m wrong and I say something that’s not intelligent?”
The fear of being judged, or what you imagine the other person will think about what you say, acts as a brake when expressing yourself. “Before I speak I think, how do I say it? And if I say it, how are they going to take it?
Dangerous sayings hurt, flying over the fear of being left and abandoned. As a consequence, this “not saying” leads to a closure in oneself, materializing the greatest fear: being left alone with oneself, feeling abandoned for not letting anyone into the internal world.
“Hello, who do you want to talk to? Mistaken”.
A call, a disagreement response, wrong number. Search for someone, a demand for love.
But it should be clarified that saying is equivocal, it does not exist perfectly or ideally.
Paraphrasing Lacan: “You may know what you said, but never what the other heard.”
Be encouraged to express yourself, questioning those “internal ghosts” that judge and terrify.
When a person enables himself to show himself spontaneously, what is proper and genuine emerges, for a communicational opening.
Internal liberation, which enables a connection with desire, for a healthy bond construction. The love of another is beyond a successful call, with a perfect speech.
The most important saying is the one that each one says to himself, in order to later be able to transmit it to another, in an encounter of feeling-is and saying-is.
Text: Lic. German Rothstein.
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