“Doc, I was ghosted!” I remember the first time I heard that phrase. A patient looked at her cell phone discouraged from her. We were talking about a boy that she liked but he “disappeared” and without explanation “I nailed the seen”. That is called ghosting and comes from “ghost”, which in English means ghost. That is, it describes someone who “ghost”.
Currently, “ghosting” is fashionable, but it is not something only of this time. What happens is that in the digital age it is powered by immediacy in communications, lack of commitment in relationships and anonymity behind a screen that facilitate these escapades without explanation.
Ghosting occurs mostly in unsound relationships, of any gender and age, and it occurs in two ways:
– abrupt ghosting: It happens from one moment to the next, stopping you answering because yes or blocking you without prior notice.
– Gradual ghosting: It occurs through small actions, such as not starting the conversation, avoiding yourself or responding more and more slowly until the relationship cools off and fades.
Either way, suffer from ghosting it produces discomfort because our expectations and illusions are broken when the other person disappears. not only us affects self esteem and causes emotional dependencebut we can also develop anxiety and obsessive behaviorssuch as keeping an eye on the phone or continually wondering if we did something wrong.
my patient asked me: “Who is the ghost? There are those who play “disappearing” to emotionally manipulate, feel superior or to seduce. At the other extreme, who they feel inferior, due to shyness or fear of commitment. There are even those who are ghosts without even realizing it.
In most cases, these are psychologically immature people or people with low emotional intelligence because they lack social skills and empathy.
Therefore, if you are ghosted, the best thing you can do is leave the “ghost” with his problem to take care of your self-esteem and mental health. If, on the contrary, you tend to “ghost” at some point, perhaps it is a good opportunity to reflect on it.
Remember: everyone has the right to break a relationship, whatever the reason, but it is healthier to take charge of that decision.
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by CEDOC
