More and more ex-partners are forced to live together

The research was conducted by the Dutch Association of Family and Inheritance Lawyers and Divorce Mediators (vFAS), which collaborated with journalistic platform pointer

Worrying situation

Of the 275 participants, 79% find the situation surrounding housing problems after a divorce ‘worrying to very worrying’. Problems have increased by more than 90% in the last five years, according to the survey. “The shortage of housing is causing an enormous price increase; this has never been as high as last year”, says Alexander Leuftink, chairman of the vFAS, about the results.

Living under one roof with your ex

With the overstrained housing market, many people have difficulty finding an (affordable) home. “The situation is even more dire for parents who have just divorced,” explains Leuftink. “The financial situation has changed and renting or buying a home often turns out to be too expensive. After a divorce follows an emotional period in which you need time to recover and get back together, that becomes almost impossible when you still live under the same roof with your ex.”

Urgency regulation

There is an arrangement with the municipality for situations as described above, with which divorced partners can apply for an urgent status. This gives them priority when looking for a home through housing associations. However, in the survey, 42% of the participants indicated that in at least 25% of the cases municipalities do not or hardly adhere to this.

Kitty and Peter: “2.5 years of torment”

Unfortunately, Kitty (52) knows all too well that staying with your ex after a divorce is very difficult and emotionally heavy. Last September she told Libelle her story. She was forced to live with her ex Peter for another 2.5 years after her divorce: “’It’s my house too, so I’ll stay here until it’s sold’, Peter concluded. I didn’t have money for another house yet. And so we would live together until our house was sold. But then I didn’t know it was going to be a 2.5-year torment.”

Jacqueline and Jan: “We both got a different mindset”

However, there are also situations in which continuing to live with an ex-partner works out well. Jacqueline (42) told Libelle about this: “Jan and I hardly even had a discussion anymore. I think we both got a different mindset. I was mainly concerned with myself, figuring out who I was as an independent, single woman. Now that he no longer belonged to me as a partner, I cared a lot less about what he did. It gave me the breathing space I needed for so long.”

Source: vFAS

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