Monica Romano: first transgender woman in the municipality of Milan

Stand what holds back the top career of women is called a glass ceiling, what opposes the rise of a transgender woman is a “reinforced concrete ceiling”. That’s how she defines it Monica J. Romano, first transgender woman elected to the Milan City Council after years of activism in the LGBT+ community.

Monica J. Romano, first transgender woman in the City Council of Milan

An expert in training and recruitment, today politics sees her engaged on many fronts, from employment issues to equal opportunities. Her story, collected in the book There is no going back (Tea), unfolds in the stages of a story of which it tells pains and conquests, along the path of the affirmation of civil rights, from the 70s to today.

Roman addresses the issue of gender identity also from the point of view of science and the law, as well as from the personal one, of which he does not hide the jeers but also the gratifications, up to the maxim: to serve the institutions. And the first person, without pretense, serves to remove falsehoods and instrumental positions from the narrative, to return “to the new generations a model that can be motivating”.

A difficult path to become yourself

Of her complicated path she says that it was needed “not only to become a woman, but to become me”.
«It is a concept that I hold dear, because in the public debate on gender affirmation paths it often remains in the shadows. From my point of view, these paths must be taken to resemble as closely as possible, and not to adhere to stereotypes, the preconceived idea that we may have of a man or a woman. The congruence between what you feel you are and what you are in society is important».

In her experience as an activist she has gone through a period in which, she writes, a group of privileged few are opposed by hell, a world of violence in which the basic assumption is the equivalence between transsexual and prostitute. How did she escape that hell?
«Thanks to the very strong support of my family which, despite its modest origins, has always been present, so willing not only to understand me but also to defend me. She made a huge difference, she took me away from what was a destiny for many. Sometimes we feel like survivors, many of the girls I used to know in those years are no longer there today, because unfortunately the combination of transgender and prostitute and the impossibility, at the time, of finding work due to discrimination threw them into situations of danger, exposed to violence, alcohol or drug abuse. This makes you feel lucky and pushes you to do your part.”

Monica J. Romano: «Because the family matters most of all

Is this equation still rooted?
«We have unhinged it a bit, fortunately, and therefore the years, indeed the decades, have not passed in vain. When I talk to young transgender people today, I see that there is an awareness of being able to get a job, to study. They know that discrimination has not disappeared, but a different imaginary has made its way».

Of the toolbox received from her family, she underlines three aspects: unconditional love, pride and knowing how to be respected. How can these concepts be extended to other transgender youth?
“This is a legacy that all teenagers should receive, even if they do not belong to the LGBT+ community. Loving your children even when they may not fully correspond to your wishes and expectations, educating them to be respected, applies to everyone. Widening the discourse, civil rights and social rights go together. Certainly, as in my case, the family is important, but a society that helps everyone grow, by investing in public education, for example, is also important. And by restarting that social elevator that has been blocked for some time: if it improves society, it improves the ground on which civil rights are fortified”.

Gender change, the legal route

What is the legal way today to obtain a gender change, even on official documents?
“The way to see the kind of election, and therefore what a person feels he is, validated by the State is through the courts, although this should not be a matter regulated by the courts. Law 164 of 1982, decidedly obsolete, provides for the presentation of an application to authorize surgery and rectify documents. Documentation with psychological or psychiatric and endocrinological expertise is also required. The result is an economically expensive and long journey. Meanwhile, the documents do not conform to the person, with all the consequences of the case. Having the correct name on the documents is important, it is a fundamental part of the identity».

Hormonal therapies during adolescence

Let’s say that no one would like to be called by a name that doesn’t correspond to them… Are things changing?
«The requirements of law 164 have gradually become less stringent. Until 2015, to obtain a rectification of the documents all the interventions on the genital organs, demolition or reconstruction were necessary. Then came the sentences of the Court of Cassation and the Constitutional Court which eliminated the need for it in order not to subject people to possibly unwanted, invasive or (often) experimental interventions. The gaze has shifted to the protection of the person, to her rights ».

There is a burning issue on the table, which is the beginning of hormonal therapies during adolescence.
«Requests for access to gender affirmation courses by adolescent transgender people are now an international phenomenon that has also developed an Italian case history. The requests of these people deserve attention, prudence, study and great caution. Many, faced with the difficulty of managing gender inconsistency, suffer from an irrepressible and continuous malaise, even coming to have suicidal thoughts, as the news unfortunately reports. So, when it comes to a level that puts the survival or health of the adolescent at risk, it makes sense to reflect on a path of gender affirmation. To save years of discomfort related to the body and identity in a delicate age.

Monica J. Romano, at what age awareness comes

So is the time right?
“A recently approved law in Spain depathologises transsexuality and allows gender self-determination on simple request from the age of 16. I find that to be a reasonable age to enter the course. Consider that the Italian legal system from the age of 16 recognizes the possibility of marrying, therefore the legal capacity to build a family, with children. That said, it is clear that we too will need to legislate and reflect on a minimum age. Then, going back to my experience, I happened to know people who at 16 were extremely aware of the path they were about to take, and people of 30 who weren’t. Therefore, to allow access to minors, extreme caution and prudence are required. And very clear stakes ».

Which ones, for example?
«Around the minor and his family, who also needs assistance, professionals must act, a network of skills between doctors, psychologists, jurists and also the associations of people who have gained experience in the field. It’s an uphill road, you need many tools».

Never forget the irony

In her book, when she recounts the early days of the trans movement in the 1970s, she quotes Ru Paul’s line that says “Go and be scandalized!”. How much did irony count and count for you?
«Irony is fundamental! It allows you to face roads full of obstacles, it is a powerful resource. It should also be understood as the ability to overturn the game plans: what I feel like saying to the younger ones today is absolutely no piety and no tearful narratives. Instead, let’s marry irony: a healthy sarcasm can crumble prejudices. Of course we don’t have to accept discrimination, God forbid, but a certain levity helps…”

Irony doesn’t just play defense: often the ability to laugh at yourself and make others laugh creates channels of communication…
“But absolutely! And then she is extremely attractive. If today we hold a Pride in Milan that calls 300,000 people to the square, and many are heterosexual because it has now become the city’s celebration, we also owe it to the ability to laugh and joke that breaks down barriers, fences».

The final victory

The electoral campaign that brought her to the City Council was on many issues that she is currently still dealing with. How important is a 360° view of the city?
“It was a precise choice. As an activist for LGBT+ rights, I had already made myself known and I wanted to show that many other issues mattered to me and are close to my heart. I think he also rewarded this in terms of preferences: among the stalls of the Milanese markets I talked about safety and petty crime, pollution, roads, road maintenance, new forms of poverty. And of feminicides, of patriarchy, of gender equality in work and in wages… I think people have caught my passion and have felt its authenticity. At work, I spend a lot of effort to be consistent with what was said in the countryside. I’m present, I answer the call, having very clear the fact that in any case a local administrator must be a local administrator, therefore he must deal with issues that concern the city. And even this commitment forces us to take note of a reality and facilitates recognition».

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