The power of language
The possibility of communicating, of expressing feelings and thoughts through language, is so natural to us that perhaps we are unaware of the power it has. Language not only describes reality but also has the possibility of creating it. This is called the generative capacity of language. People are often unaware of that power and we cannot change what we do not know.
Creating reality is something we do daily, however there are times when we believe we are generating, creating realities and we are stuck in circles. Endless work meetings, topics come and go without a palpable result. And I hear people “Yes, but exchange is important.” And the exchange is important if other people’s ideas make me think, give me a difference. But when meetings are heated, ideas compete to be heard, there is no context for exchange. It’s more of a clumsy argument and terrible teamwork. In this case, the teams need more tools so that these divergences generate a constructive framework. It is called “Expert discussion” when this exchange leads to making decisions, developing a plan, executing projects. To reach this point, teams need to work on their emotions, learn to listen, and suspend their own opinion. In short, it is a work of maturity, however it is possible and very rewarding when you are in a team with these characteristics.
Another very important ingredient to put together a constructive framework is to be clear when we use generative language. The first thing is to identify Complaint Vs Request. Complaint is sterile, it does not generate results. I listen to long, exhausting conversations where people complain, “Look what so-and-so is doing…..blah blah….” If that person’s intention is to create catharsis…well, perfect. It is very necessary to let off steam. However, it is important to know that this does not change reality! The language that generates results are: requests, promises, offers, statements. The Orders (“I ask you to do such and such a thing on such and such a date”). The Promises (“I promise you that I will do such and such a job in such and such a way”) and here it is important to fulfill it otherwise TRUST is broken, a fundamental ingredient! The Offers (“I offer you such a product”) and the Statements (“I declare you manager of this company”, “I declare you husband and wife”) Do you remember any statement by which your life changed?
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by CEDOC
