Do you account together or separately? Do you have to tell me what you spend on? Are expenses divided 50 and 50? These are some of the questions I receive most often from interested parties. So, if you have ever asked yourself this too, here are some answers that may help you.
“We divide all expenses equally, it is the fairest. That’s wrong?”
Yeah! Unless the income is exactly the same, splitting 50-50 is always going to be unfair to one party. In general, it is the woman who loses, because most of the time she has a lower salary. According to UN Women, worldwide women earn 16% less than men, and in Argentina this gap grows to nearly 25%, according to data published by INDEC. What is the correct way to do it? Taking into account the complete budget and dividing proportionally, according to each person’s income. That is the fairest way, in this case it does not work to divide exactly in half.
“Is it better to have a common account, to make ‘a well’, or does everyone pay something?”
The best thing would be to have a common account for common expenses, that is, those that correspond to housing, food, children, etc. In practice, it is much more comfortable for a single person to be in charge of payments (whenever he wants) but both parties must be equally informed about all expenses, dates, payment methods, etc. It is not worth ignoring everything and letting the other person take care of it, the burden is not fair. That both parties are informed and decide, and that one of them executes by common agreement. They can vary from time to time if they want.
“You don’t want to tell me what you spend on” / “I don’t want to tell you what you spend on”
It goes both ways, it is a very common proposition. Here my recommendation to not fight and continue building is to have the common account that I mentioned above, and at the same time an individual account for each one (it can be a bank or virtual wallet) with an amount assigned according to the family budget. No explanations are given or asked for that account, each party spends it how they want, when they want, on what they want. This gives freedom and at the same time encourages control and improvement of the use of common money.
“In my house it was always done like this”
A lot happens, both with money and with other issues in life together. We have been set since we were little with a way of doing things, and sometimes we don’t stop to think if it can be done another way. Not better or worse, different. That’s why here I always suggest talking about the examples you had in childhood, to know where certain reactions come from, but starting from scratch with what works for you, which is probably not the same thing that applied to another family 20, 30 ago. or 40 years. We all have a past, but we can start again with more tools and education.
“I ask you to help me take care of the expenses, but you are not interested”
More common than we think, it causes fights in many couples. In general, women are associated with spending more, but my experience tells me that to a greater extent they are the ones who take care of the resources they manage. When faced with a change (for example, stopping using cards, a very common one) one of the parties starts with all the enthusiasm and the other never gets on the train and hopes that everything continues as before. When you see that behavior repeating itself, stop the ball and talk about it before it’s too late.
Communication is essential
If we take into account that money is the second cause of divorce worldwide, is it important to talk about the subject with your partner? Of course! Because only then will they be able to resolve differences, know what the other person expects, what bothers them and how to build from now on.
Money is a tool to achieve everything you want, as a couple and as a family. Avoid cross accusations, which get you nowhere. Don’t compete and don’t let it cause more fights either, talk about it now!
Within Money in Order there is an online School, and there you will be able to find a special class on money and your partner, ideal to watch and learn in pairs, to train you in the use of your money, pay off debts, generate more income, start to invest and more.
*Celeste Sánchez is a communicator specialized in family finances and creator of @dineroenorden
by Celeste Sánchez
