Molly (67) eyelid surgery failed: “I’m ashamed”

“It has been ten years since my eyelid correction was performed, but it still bothers me to this day. Every morning and every night when I look in the mirror I think: brrr.

It’s like having two large mosquito bites on the inside of my eyes, or two wads. I can camouflage it a bit with make-up, which is why I never go out unmade. I’d rather walk down the street barefoot than without makeup. I often push my sadness about this away, but the uncertainty is always there. Would they see it, I think, if people look at me. Even my husband doesn’t know how much this affects my life and how much I am thinking about it.”

Followed all advice

“My eyelids had drooped so much that it bothered me and my health insurance reimbursed the procedure. Still, I decided not to have surgery in a hurry. I chose a well-known cosmetic surgeon, even though that meant waiting six months before it was my turn. “Remember: take compresses for a while and then massage in well with cream to keep the skin elastic,” he said. I followed all his advice faithfully. After the swelling and bruising had subsided, it appeared that the procedure had been successful. My eyelids were no longer drooping, but I could see that the excess skin had moved to the sides of my eyes.”

Three times under the knife

“I hoped that the doctor would tell me at the check-up that it would go away. He didn’t say that. He asked me what I thought about the result, and I admitted that I didn’t like those bumps. This was indeed not the intention, he acknowledged, and so he offered a correction procedure free of charge. I thought: this will be all right, so I went for a second surgery. But at the next check it turned out not to be good again. At that point, I should have said, stay away from it. Only I felt desperate. I wanted to get rid of those bumps so badly that I went under the knife with him a third time.”

Never without makeup

“It seems that this cosmetic doctor did not know what to do with the excess skin, because the problem was still there after the third time. “Never mind,” I told him. I was tired of the pain from the anesthetic injections in my eyes and the recovery after the procedure. I didn’t dare do anything about it again. Now I think: why didn’t he forward me to a colleague who could solve this? Why did he let me go? He makes me walk with something in my face that I’m ashamed of. When people compliment me on my appearance for being well groomed, I think you should see me without makeup. When I’m home, not yet made up and someone unexpectedly rings the doorbell, I feel very bad. I just don’t want to show myself to anyone like that.”

sadness

“I didn’t have surgery to look younger. I am not concerned with wrinkles and aging. Life wrinkles are part of a face. I don’t dye my hair either, but I take good care of my skin and body. Old age may be there, that is not the reason that I had an eyelid correction performed. I was just bothered by the overhanging skin. I think the risks of surgery should be emphasized more by a doctor. I also regret that I never made a complaint. I am quite mature, I can stand up for myself, but after three interventions I no longer had the energy to bite into this.”

cosmetic miss

“It’s not that I wanted to get a financial benefit out of it or give my doctor a kick. He probably did his best. I just want to get rid of this problem so badly. On the other hand, if I want to do something about it now, I don’t know if it will go well this time or if it will get worse. I gave my doctor three times the chance to fix his cosmetic mistake. I’ve had confidence, patience and the only person I’ve hurt with this is myself.

“I love you the way you are,” my husband tells me. That’s very sweet of him, but day in and day out I am confronted with the mirror image that I am not happy with. I often compare it. ‘Be glad you’re healthy and not in a wheelchair,’ I say to myself. Or: “Don’t whine Molly, you have to move on.” But the sadness is there. Somehow I still hope that one day it will be all right and that there is a doctor who can help me.”

March 14, 2022

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