Merijn Sommer from Veldhoven is non-binary. They are happy that people are slowly but surely taking more account of ‘gender-conscious language’, but they also understand if someone does not think about it yet.
The Taalunie recently published a number of advice and options for making the Dutch language more gender-aware. For example referring to someone with ‘those’ or ‘them’. The language institute thus wants to achieve that ‘all genders can identify themselves individually or as a group in a formulation and feel respected’.
Merijn is happy with the advice. The use of neutral pronouns like this is quite complicated, Merijn emphasizes: “I also notice that my head automatically does different things than I want when I use those words. You have to practice a lot.”
“There isn’t really a good alternative for Mr. or Mrs..”
According to Merijn, language is often easy to adapt. “For example, you could start with ‘dear reader’ in an email, just like the NS uses ‘dear passenger’.”
Merijn understands well that people often don’t even think about asking how someone likes to be addressed. “I find it less pleasant to be addressed as ‘sir’ or ‘madam’, but there is not really a good alternative for that yet. You could say, ‘Can I ask you something?’”
“Some trans people no longer dare to go to the doctor.”
Not only gender-aware language makes Merijn feel more herself. Hen also has an X on their passport, for example. “I was often looked at strangely because of the gender determination. Now there is no more confusion and when checking my ID card, only my age is checked and that I am the same person as in the photo on the card.”
Merijn tries to raise awareness of the topic in more ways so that non-binary people feel more respected. That is why Hen teaches general practitioners in collaboration with the organization Trans In Eigen Hand. According to Merijn, they often still think in a male-female framework and do not always have an eye for the needs of non-binary people. “Some trans people don’t even dare to go to the doctor anymore, because they have unpleasant experiences.”
“If you don’t know, ask.”
Merijn doesn’t mind explaining things to strangers. According to them, that applies to most non-binary people. “My advice is, if you don’t know how someone wants to be addressed, ask. That’s the best way to find out.”