THE taboos of menopause are deeply rooted in society, not only in Italy. And they constitute a real cause of suffering for women who have to go through or have gone through this phase of their lives. A research commissioned by TENA at One Poll and Ketchum has involved 6,000 women with an age greater than 18 years in United Kingdom, Brazil and Italy and highlighted which negative beliefs influence the experience of menopause. But also what can we do to face this phase of life with serenity.
Because we experience menopause in silence
About the taboos of menopause pre-menopausal women, women who are experiencing it and others who have already gone through it were interviewed. 41 percent of them said they did having arrived at that stage of life unprepared. Friends, but also sisters and mothers who had gone through it or were going through it had not, in fact, shared sensations and emotions with them. But the silence, the taboo with respect to the symptoms makes it difficult to understand the transformations that the body and the psyche experience. Silence generates shame, guiltand therefore still makes more difficult to open up to others, least of all with your partner (52 percent of women choose not to tell).
Questions to ask about menopause
Talking to your gynecologist or primary care physician helps contextualize the origin of otherwise causeless symptoms.
“Must not being afraid to share changes in one’s body and one’s emotions, to break the taboos of menopause exhorts Marzia Benvenuti, psychologist and psychotherapist @cronachediunabionda. “We have to ask ourselves what am I experiencing? Menopause gives rise to more or less shared symptoms – hot flashes, metabolic changes, insomnia, some cognitive fog, maybe even a low libido, and many more. Not all women suffer from the same problems, or even in the same way. It is important to inform yourself, talk to a doctor, to first understand what is happening. And how these transformations can have their own “logic”. trivially, be related to hormonal fluctuations. But it’s also important to ask yourself how I’m living it this transformation? Because it’s always the subjective dimension the one that determine how you live a certain situation”.
Where do taboos come from?
Talking to daughters about how it feels to go through menopause helps them too.
This type of consideration also applies to what concerns one of the aspects most covered by taboo of menopause: that of relationship with partner and sexuality. Inevitable if you think that the end of fertility has long been considered the end of the “useful” life of the woman, of her desirability, of her beauty. “If we still consider ourselves fragile when a problem arisesin this case the appearance of our life on menopausethat problem becomes gigantic. Everyone has to rephrase the meaning of this stage within your own life. In this sense playing down with friends (and daughters) is very useful and we must first share what happens with the others».
Experience menopause the way you want
“For leave taboos behind of menopause we need to say to ourselves: I want to live this season the way I want» says Marzia Benvenuti. “It’s what in psychology it is called reframing, change the framework within which a situation is placed». If topics that make me anxious, intimidate me, symptoms that baffle me, gods my menopausal taboos I speak, taboos dissolve. I have freed from taboos».
The Lesson of Menstruation
“It’s the same thing as it happened with menstruation. Even then the taboos were very many. But started talking about it, even with menhas made it possible for many women to face this situation in a different way « continues Marzia. Welcome.
How to talk to your partner about menopause
Talking to your partner is a liberating gesture (Getty Images)
“Talking can build an alliance between generations which normalizes the situation. Especially if you do in a self-deprecating, free way, it helps to strengthen self-esteem. And also relational self-esteem because it leads to saying I’m not alone” says the psychologist and psychotherapist. «This approach is possible repeat in the couple. The change in libido is important, and it’s not even – fortunately – one-way. As well as affect dryness and vaginal atrophy. Or the feeling that the best is behind you. But surely to get out of the taboo,you need to tell how it feels,. And say what you need. You shouldn’t expect that the solution comes from the partner some problems but finding a way to talk about it is a way to free yourself by their weight.
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