After her divorce, Meliha (27) moved back to her old neighborhood. She almost no longer had a social network. Suddenly she was alone with two small children. That made her feel very lonely. Fortunately, Meliha managed to climb out and get her life back on track. “It helps to have a goal.”
A divorce has a major impact on your life. Meliha knows that better than anyone. “I was a bit of an emotional wreck at the time. My world suddenly became very small: I was in a bubble with my children and didn’t leave the house much. I lost my rhythm and felt more and more isolated from the world,” she says.
Alone on the couch
That loneliness does something to you, Meliha knows. “I did have family who tried to support me, but many of those people lived far away. In the evenings, when the children were in bed, I often sat alone on the couch and thought: if only there were someone with me. A friend who you can call to have a chat, for example.”
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A new life
What really helped Meliha to climb out of her loneliness was her work. When her children were young, she was home to take care of them. After a while, when the children went to daycare, she found work at the municipality of Zoetermeer. “Then I really started to live again. I got my rhythm back, made friends at work and had adults around me to talk to again.” Now she has a nice group of friends with whom she also does fun things in her spare time. “The loneliness slowly but surely became less and less. I had to start building my life from scratch, but I did it.”
Go outside
If you feel lonely, Meliha says it helps to have a purpose. “For me that was work. That gave me a push to participate in society again. But it can also be something else, for example practicing a fun sport or doing volunteer work. There is so much in Zoetermeer that you can do to help others and be among people at the same time, such as doing something fun with the elderly in the city.” She also believes that it is good to keep talking about your loneliness. “Find someone you trust and tell your story. Most people are certainly open to that. Go outside and tell your story, because that’s the easiest way to climb out.”