When Lisette Brouns (28) was still working in elderly care, she quickly noticed something. Many elderly people felt lonely, but the conversations often didn’t get any further than the usual small talk. Real connection was missing. There she has – together with founders Enny van Arkel and Ilse Nieuwland – came up with something: 1330 (named after the average weight of the human brain). 1330 is a discussion method in which depth is actually encouraged instead of avoided.
“I can still remember when I led a conversation in a library in Amsterdam. That was with a very close group that regularly met for coffee and had known each other for years. Once in conversation, two participants found out that their partner had died during the same period. Both felt lonely, but they never dared to share that with anyone. They had no idea that at that time they were both going through a similar period.”
Goosebumps
“Then I get goosebumps when I see how people talk so openly about difficult subjects such as grief or loneliness. Those are really very intense stories and then I sometimes have a hard time as a moderator. You get a look into the soul of the people. I really feel the atmosphere change. First it gets a little more exciting, you feel that there is some charge in the air and then something special happens in the whole group. People start to share more easily, the energy becomes calmer and people are especially very grateful.”
“We wanted to make something where you can really get into the minds of others and connect with each other”
“Something special happens in every conversation. You have no control over what is going to be discussed, not even as a moderator. So it is always surprising.”
Elderly care
“The other two founders and I all come from elderly care. We already had experience organizing activities there, but then you quickly returned to handicrafts and flower arranging.”
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“We also saw growing loneliness and increasing pressure on informal care. So we wanted to create something where you can really get into the minds of others and connect with each other. We know how many empty moments there are in the daily lives of a lot of people , and how much beauty can arise from it.”
Game without winners
†That eventually led to the ‘game’ 1330. It was a struggle to put a name to it. It’s not really a game because it’s not competitive. It is really a conversation method with all kinds of supported materials. It was quite a process with countless rounds of testing to finally complete the method. It felt a bit like writing your first book. The method consists of several well-considered cards with discussion topics and questions.”
“I hope that people take from my story that we can really move towards a society in which we shout less to each other, but listen more”
“I found the first conversation that I eventually led was still exciting, you don’t know what the group dynamics will do. You know it works, but you have to make it work. One of our basic rules is that participants in a group conversation of 1330 always choose the topics for discussion on the spot, that makes it extra exciting as a facilitator in the beginning, because you can’t prepare substantively. The game just works really well. Those cards are really a handle, which is very nice.”
A real conversation
“We started rolling out 1330 within elderly care because we saw the demand very clearly there and also received it from various care and welfare organisations, but in the meantime we serve a much wider audience. Everyone seems to crave a little more connection. For example, non-native speakers in the Netherlands, young parents who are struggling with their new phase of life and many young people are knocking on our door. Last year we even developed a special version that is suitable for people with dementia and their environment.”
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“Feeling connected with other people is always important, it shows again. I hope that people take away from my story that we can really move towards a society in which we shout less to each other, but listen more. Starting a real conversation, that can do so much. I really notice that in all our sessions. As long as you give people a place to talk in a safe way and are slightly forced to listen to each other.”
In the Warriors program, inspiring people from North Holland tell their story. Each and every one of them tries to make the world a little more beautiful in their own way.
Fighters is broadcast on the NH Nieuws TV channel and via our website. The stories can also be listened to as a podcast. Subscribe to it via your favorite podcast channel. Here you will find an overview of all Warriors.