Worthwhile space travel, moldy German pop & stylish onions. Josef Winkler’s brain fibrillation column.
I don’t want to invade the territory of the neighboring fashion column here, but I have to ask a question. I would like to express my long-standing astonishment about a technical term that is circulating again in these times of waning light: If I dress in the “onion look” that is now being promoted again, what does that look like? When I hear the word I always think of the old Mallorcan chanson “I have an onion on my head, I am a kebab”; Funny images spring to mind of stylish-looking fashionistas in ridiculous balloon outfits. Hehe. Hoho.
Understand me correctly: I don’t want to be willfully stupid, but you can’t write an absurd word like “onion look” in fashion blogs and advertising news every day without reflecting on the fact that that just means that someone looks like an onion ! Damned. And no, you don’t have to put every word on the scale, but where I soon get one too many is when the Apache 207 and Udo Lindenberg in my household often sing about the comet that hits twice.
The children are to blame, of course, and I try to make it clear to them that “Alles klar auf der Andrea Doria” is the better Lindenberg song. Children are susceptible to this pompous pathos that has permeated German pop like mold for many years (if I have to attend a primary school graduation party where “Cheers to us” is sung, then… then I’ll scream!), bad enough. And I don’t want to go deep into exegesis, but “I leave (…) like a comet that strikes twice”, that’s stupid on so many levels between poetry and physics, I can’t get over it. The Apache can then disguise itself as an onion.
“Shoot the Söder to the moon / that’s space travel that’s worth it!”
1a space poetry, on the other hand: “Shoot the Söder to the moon / that’s space travel that’s worth it!” And it only needs to hit once, that’s enough. I recently heard this beautiful poem at a Fridays for Future demo, where I also made a rather irritating observation: homemade signs that use slogan gags like “The planet is getting even hotter than Christian Lindner.” That made me suspicious. I paused twice. Is Christian Lindner perceived by young people – even if only ironically – as “hot”? So as – I hardly dare write it down because I’m afraid my hand will wither – sexually attractive?
Or has “hot” undergone a shift in meaning in youth slang and now/currently means something different in the direction of “despicable”, “breakdown” or similar? Well, you see, this has now activated my rage mode (I just learned it on the internet, right?), which unfortunately always happens when I think about Christian Lindner for more than 60 seconds. Before anything bad happens, I’ll go out for a walk with the dog in my hot cucumber look.
This column first appeared in Musikexpress issue 11/2023.