Finally something sensible to do for the AI - but the nuclear option is still in the room.
did you read it So exciting: Artificial intelligence should now help track down plastic waste in the sea! That’s good, because the old nerve cow can make herself useful instead of taking the work away from hard-working journalists and lazy students. And that’s the problem: It’s known that – I can’t remember exactly – so many trillion tons of plastic scrap and candy bags are thrown, tipped and blown into the world’s oceans every day, that polar bears now shit PVC pellets and the Pollock automatically bagged for the refrigerated section, but not where exactly the stuff then swims around.
And now the AI should find out. Then she has something to do and doesn’t come up with stupid ideas such as throwing the world into a post-apocalyptic “Terminator” scenario. What? At the moment, the AI is still purely a brain worker, but one can ask oneself: When it really gets going, it will then build friendly eco-droids that, with the help of ultra-innovative future technology, fish the garbage out of the sea and into it for humanity Will it stop climate change right away or will it – the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree – choose the nuclear option and put an end to the evolutionary aberration of “life forms” on this planet in the medium term?
Ignorance is no longer so good today
Before we make any efforts to prevent a lot more plastic from getting into the oceans, let’s take an inventory and want to know exactly where the stuff is. Knowledge is power … and knowing nothing doesn’t matter, haha! Sorry, “spontaneous saying” from the last millennium (yes, quite a long time ago – the older ones remember: the one with the 1 in front of it). But ignorance is no longer so good today, so it was embarrassing in several ways at the same time when the singer Pink praised the Rammstein group in front of tens of thousands of petrified faces at her concert in Cologne recently – although one could also interpret it positively: she just doesn’t hang up around the internet all day, the pink.
And I, for example, hadn’t even noticed that throwing objects at big pop stars from the audience is obviously a thing at the moment. Sweets, pieces of chicken and – especially, uh, reprehensible – telephones are flying onto the stages, and pink has also become a victim. What would you have to throw at Till Lindemann? Well, maybe a Rammstein, a really big one. But beware, the guy has a flamethrower! Disclaimer: The thoughts expressed in this column about the use of projectile violence against a member of the rock group Rammstein are to be understood purely satirically and do not represent an expression of contempt for human beings but rather a very specific expression of idiots. The author also apologizes for the adjectival use of the word “projectile”. But you can try it.
This column first appeared in the Musikexpress issue 09/2023.