To go in a bit softly, first a joke from my six year old; invented it himself, he says, so please – pay attention! Q: What’s Donald Duck and people hold it up to their noses a lot? A: A fun handkerchief! Haha. Yes, it doesn’t work 100 percent logically, but I think it’s laudable resp. I “celebrate” the pun that underlies it. Here, I’ve got another one, a little more solid: I’d rather have a drunken Saturday than a shopping Sunday. Any day of the week of your choice can be used for “Saturday”, also adapted to the day. And I ask you to take note of the consumption-critical – if not alcohol-critical – tenor of the gäg.
Yes, of course, intoxication is not a (long-term) solution either, but there was recently this Telekom perimeter advertising at the Germany-Israel international match, March 26th, after more than a month of war: “All-round carefree: WLAN in all corners”. That’s when I thought to myself: Check the wording aut. Anyone who is currently able to think that they are free of all worries because they have “WLAN in every corner” either has many and/or very effective drugs at their disposal in addition to this technical equipment available, or he/she seriously has one on the gossip.
Living in the past
I recently wrote to my old friend Dr. Murtle, expert for quantum physics and Jethro Tull, among other things, and reported to him under the subject “Living in the Past” that I, keyword contemporary trauma, can and like almost only music from the old millennium. He then talked about the old teacher who once informed her when she was in lower school about the ever-present danger of a Soviet invasion and nuclear attack, which for him, shall we say, overshadowed the 1980s a bit. I was spared that kind of thing, as a teenager I was pretty unsophisticated in world politics and for a long time didn’t even get the expression “Cold War”, and when it came up in history class, it was already glasnost. Oof!
And now this. Fear of the bad Russians again. “You shouldn’t wish anything bad on anyone…”, the Dottore begins, but I’ve moved away from that a long time ago. I do this every day. But it just doesn’t work. I wished Bolsonaro that he would pass away on Corona. I wished Trump all conceivable illnesses, accidents, attacks, etc. on his neck. I wish Putin every day in my evening prayer, which was reintroduced especially for this purpose after 35 years, as soon as possible. No effect. Instead, Taylor Hawkins dies and Bruce Willis gets aphasia. What is that supposed to be? I can hardly manage to find out more about the details when just following the daily news is tantamount to endless doomscrolling excess. Damned. I have to go. I have an appointment with the stoner orthopedist.
This column first appeared in the Musikexpress issue 06/2022.