There are days, many, many, that you wake up, look in the mirror and you look stupid. Others, idiot. The most, overcome by circumstances. You even comb your hair to be handsome when they tease you. You go out into the street and you imagine that the applause and cheers of the assembly of the RFEF to Luis Rubiales They are part of the entity’s papier-mâché decoration. And, let’s just say it, as you cross the first traffic light, you dress up so that Joan Laporta and his friend and accomplice jorge mendes tease you, no matter how short you wear it or how little you have.
Hares run through the sea, sardines through the mountains. I found a plum tree, loaded with apples. I started throwing stones at it and hazelnuts fell. With the noise of the nuts, the master of the pear tree came out. Kid, don’t throw stones, the melon grove is not mine. Don’t think about it anymore, that’s the story of the arrival of the young Joao Félix, 23 years old, to FC Barcelona.
A brilliant maneuver, which will never be explained like this (remember that Barça always lacks the second paragraph of everything, that is, the one that explains everything) and which was perfectly orchestrated by the one who maneuvers everything: Mendes, the ‘fucking master’ of current football.
That’s how it all started
It all starts on July 18 when the journalist who gives the most news, although not all of it is fulfilled, about transfers comes up with a healthy idea! call Joao Félix, who was bored in Madrid, and extract from him the statement that triggers everything: “I would love to play for Barça. It was always my dream since I was a child.” And hares, sardines, plums, apples, hazelnuts, walnuts, pear trees and melons begin to appear.
Really, seriously, does anyone believe that the idea came from the journalist? Please, the idea is Mendes’s to put Félix on the trigger, which is why, the next day, the plate with the name of the little Portuguese star is (almost) erased from the Metropolitan Civitas with the painting of ‘He goes to Barcelona’. When the journalists ask Joao for an explanation, the boy says it wasn’t his idea. olé
But the wheel is already running. Félix must leave, Barça ‘buys’ everything (almost) for free and/or on loan, Xavi Hernandez he plays the clueless and says that “Ansu Fati is the heritage of the club& rdquor;, but, boy, does not guarantee its continuity. In a few days, more hares, more sardines, more plums and apples. Xavi insists on “how should I say it”, Ansu stays.
And it is that there are those who say that Laporta’s wet dream, although it sounds like the chorus of the song, is to see Joao Félix dressed in the Barça shirt because it reminds him, even in his hairstyle! to its idolized Johan Cruyff, of which they are fulfilled, wow, everything adds up! the 50th anniversary of his debut with the Barça team.
Soccer is already in the hands of the agents. Before, these had to kick the fields of the quarries to beg the parents of the children to sign contracts with them. Now it is the footballers who choose the agent, especially Mendes, to take him where he wants (or dreams as a child) to play. And, if above, after loading you to mateu alemanyyou get Barça to put decorationwho trained as a representative in your agency (Gestifute) as Sports Director, honey on flakes.
If Jorge Mendes wanted to, he would make Almería champion of the League, taking seven of his best footballers there. he would pay
What’s more, Mendes, if he wanted to, would make Almería champion of the League, since he could take seven of his best footballers there (it doesn’t matter that they couldn’t pay for them, he would pay for them!) and they would be champions.
at a bargain price
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Because this story has ended as many of us predicted when we heard Félix tell lies just 50 days ago: three soccer players from Mendes (Ansu FatiBrighton; joao cancel and joao felix, Barça) have ended up playing on loan, while the president of Barça wants us to believe that the melon grove is not his. And Xavi that “Joao Félix not only likes the president & rdquor ;. Pleaseooooooor.
Félix, who only earns 400,000 euros (I laugh), already wears Johan Cruyff’s number 14 and even photographed himself, in his presentation, sitting on a ball, which, as all culés know (of that, Joao Félix has no idea). idea), it was the office of the ‘Prophet of goal’.