Jealousy and control, acceptable for teenagers

THE43% of adolescents believe that a girl can always avoid unwanted sexual intercourse and 29% that victims of violence can provoke it with the way they dress. The report on on-life violence in intimate relationships between adolescents in Italy, carried out by, appears worrying Save the Children in collaboration with IPSOS. The investigation, entitled “Are the girls okay? Survey on online gender violence in adolescence” was released by the Organization that has been fighting to save girls and boys at risk for over 100 years, on the eve of Valentine’s Day.

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The survey shows that for 30 percent of young people jealousy is a sign of love, as is sharing passwords for social media and cell phones. Furthermore, almost 20 percent of girls and boys between 14 and 18 years old thinks it’s legitimate to slap your partner every now and then.

And actually when we move on to experiences, 19% – almost one or one in five – declare that they have been frightened by their partner with violent attitudes, slaps, punches, pushes, throwing objects.

One in four has been in a relationship where their partner created a fake social profile to spy on them. And that happened to one in ten your intimate photos were shared by others without your consent.

Victim blaming according to teenagers

The opinion that, if a girl really doesn’t want to have sexual intercourse with someone, she will find a way to avoid it, is shared by 43% of those interviewed. With a higher percentage among boys (46%), but also high among girls.

Opinions are along the same lines regarding other forms of attribution of responsibility to the victim in sexual violence. As many as 29% of adolescents strongly or somewhat agree with the opinion that girls can contribute to provoking sexual violence with the way they dress and/or to behave.

While 24% think that if a girl does not clearly say “no”, it means that she is open to sexual intercourse (26% among boys and 21% among girls). Finally, 21% (without any percentage difference between girls and boys) strongly or somewhat agree with the fact that a girl, even if under the influence of drugs or alcohol, is still able to consent or not to have sexual intercourse.

Adolescents’ conception of love is worrying /Getty Images)

Consent this unknown?

How much to consent to sexual intercourse, 90% believe it is necessary to always ask this even within a stable couple relationship, but for many this theoretical belief does not easily translate into behavior. The In fact, 36% believe they can always take the person’s consent for granted with whom you have a relationship. While 48% believe that in an intimate relationship it is difficult to say no to sexual intercourse if requested by the partner.

The girls? They cry, care and sacrifice themselves, as per the stereotype

Regarding gender stereotypes, crying, relational and caring skills are clearly associated with the female universe. Almost 69% of adolescents think that girls are more likely to cry than boys, 64% that they are better able to express their emotions, 50% that they take care of people more carefully.

39% of adolescents (male and female) believes that girls are more inclined to sacrifice themselves for the sake of the relationshipthe percentage rises to 51% among girls.

The dynamics of control over clothes and friendships

Moving from opinions to direct experience, adolescents who are or have had a relationship were asked more specific questions in relation to forms of control or violent acts implemented or suffered in the couple.

65% of these girls and boys declares that they have experienced at least one controlling behavior from their partnersuch as the request to no longer go out with people (40%), not to dress in a certain way (32%).

Acceptable violent behavior

52% of adolescents in couples declare that they have suffered violent behavior at least once. Like being persistently called on the phone to find out where you were (34%); being the object of violent language, with shouts and insults (29%). And, again, being blackmailed to get something you didn’t want to do (23%); persistently being asked for intimate photos (20%), being scared of violent behavior (slaps, punches, pushes, throwing objects, 19%). Sharing intimate photos with others without consent (15%).

In this case, 47% declare that they have, at least once, acted out these behaviors towards their partner.

Jealousy, possession and control, acceptable for teenagers

«It is worrying, analyzing the data, the widespread acceptance of forms of control among adolescent couplestolerance towards violent practices and the persistence of gender stereotypes”, he declares Antonella Inverno, Research and Analysis Manager at Save the Children. «Consider jealousy, possession and control acceptable ingredients and signs of love in a couple relationship are widespread opinions among young people today. As well as attributing responsibility to the victim of sexual violence for the way she is dressed. This investigation is a wake-up call that cannot be ignored. A systematic and organic intervention is necessary to accompany boys and girls in their emotional and relational growth.”

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