A year ago, Janneke Luijsterburg from Roosendaal fell back into the grip of her addiction. Now she has been clean for almost half a year. “If I had kept going for years, I wouldn’t know where I would have ended up.” She describes her experiences on social media. “I don’t just want to share the successes, but also the moments when things aren’t going so well.”
Luijsterburg was 16 years old when she first drank alcohol. She bought a bottle of red sweet vodka and drank it alone in her room. “I didn’t feel anything and so I kept drinking until I got a feeling that I always wanted to experience.” It remained to drink occasionally, but Luijsterburg noticed that she could not keep a measure. “I come from an addiction-prone family, the chance that I would also suffer from this was high.”
When she starts at a new school, Luijsterburg comes into contact with cocaine. This gave her even more of the feeling she craved. Then it goes very fast. “I thought I dared to be myself, but I was a completely different version of myself.” When she notices that things are getting out of hand, she decides to quit her education and starts a job in a supermarket – in the liquor department.
3MMC
After working in the supermarket for six months, Luijsterburg enrolls in an MBO course. She feels very insecure there and resorts to drinking before and during school hours. She is now 18 years old, and can buy alcohol herself. ,,I also started with cocaine again and also used 3MMC for a long time. It was still legal and cheap at the time and therefore easy to get. Fortunately, it is now illegal.”
To the outside world it seems to function well. “I went to school, had a job and I met friends. At least, that’s what everyone thought. Actually, I was using it on my own outside on a bench.” Fortunately, there is an observant teacher who sees what is going on and confronts Janneke about it. “Thanks to him, I admitted that I had a problem.”
Assistance and recovery
Luijsterburg enters the assistance, but that goes by trial and error. The low point is when she is removed from her home by the police and ends up in a closed shelter for a few days. She is so shocked that she stays clean for three months. “I did it mainly for my parents and others around me. Actually for everyone except myself.” She falls back into the addiction, but continues to attend the meetings. The turning point is when she can’t remember anything the next day after the umpteenth evening. “I was really done with it and wanted to stop for myself.”
Social media
Luijsterburg divides her road to recovery X (formerly Twitter) and does not want to hide anything. ,,I do not only want to share the successes, but also the moments when things are not going so well. Otherwise it seems like my recovery is one big positive bath.” She hopes to break the taboo surrounding addiction, a road to recovery is possible. Sometimes she has to deal with negative reactions. “For example, if I share a milestone and someone writes: ‘Drink one tonight’. Fortunately, in general, the reactions are mainly positive.” She is even approached by parents of young people with an addiction, who indicate that they understand their child better because of her. ,,There are also people who went to a meeting for the first time thanks to me. That’s what I love about social media.”
Don’t walk around
If there’s anything she would like to pass on to others, it’s that people shouldn’t run away from the idea that they’re addicted. “I think anyone who is addicted, or thinks they are addicted, knows that deep down.” She wants to encourage them to seek help from their doctor, a friend, a parent or anyone else. ,, Don’t keep walking around with it and express that you have the feeling that you can no longer do without the resources. The sooner you get there, the more misery you save yourself.”
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