For 99.4 percent of all singers, it is difficult to sing and drink at the same time. Simply put: you choke. It is also said that salon crooners such as “Frankieboy” Sinatra liked to have a whiskey glass within reach. But in the end we only jingled with the ice cubes and sipped during the breaks in the singing.
And beer cans in the punk, Oi and metal segments were often just a rattle and a snort. In any case, not very sophisticated…
Metallica frontman James Hetfield has an innovative suggestion in this regard: a microphone with a built-in straw.
In a recent episode of the band’s official weekly podcast “The Metallica Report”, hosted by Steffan Chirazi and Renée Richardson, Hetfield was asked about innovations in a half-serious, half-joking conversational tone. It’s explicitly about innovations in Metallica’s stage show when the band continues their “M72 World Tour” in 2024 this year.
In mid-December, the band gave a very well-paid special guest appearance at the “Soundstorm” festival on the outskirts of the Saudi capital Riyadh.
“With our stage format, i.e. me as guitarist and singer, I don’t have to hold the microphone,” says Hetfield. “So I can’t do gymnastics everywhere freely. But there are different microphone stations that I can use. In order for our monitor man to chase me to all the microphones, he can’t have them all open at all times. Because that sounds crazy, especially in a large hall format,” he says from the technical point of view.
And further:
“The way our stage is organized – in my case as a guitarist and singer – I don’t hold the microphone,” says Hetfield. “I can’t go anywhere freely. But there are different microphone stations. And so that our monitor man can chase me to all the microphones, he can’t have them all open all the time. That sounds terrible; especially in an indoor stadium… So it would be nice to have a special device on the person that allows the following: “If I am within a radius of one meter from the respective microphone, it switches on automatically.”
Then Hetfield has another “Jugend forscht”-like note:
“That and the ability to drink water during the show, some kind of straw on the microphone, would be cool. Something like that would be great. There’s always something cool new…”
US information portals like “Consequence” now involuntarily suggest funny song or album titles using the straw microphone:
For example “Sip & Destroy”, “Liquid Fuel”, “Creeping Thirst” or “For Whom the Straw Tolls”…
Here are two more (not particularly original) German suggestions: “Sing & Suff” or “Gröhlen und Gurgeln”.
The tinkering competition has now begun. Someone invent a microphone with a built-in straw. We’ll forward this to the appropriate authorities before Metallica tours North America again in 2024…