For my hymn to the latest Range Rover, I was scolded by Prof. Leo Lucassen, who tweeted that such a thing was no longer acceptable. But that guy is about migration waves, isn’t it? asked highly educated acquaintances. That may be so, monotony was never an impediment to opinion-forming. So in the run-up to my next environmental crime, let me just link my footnote to the previous one. It became too long for this newspaper for good reasons: https://basvputten.wordpress.com/2022/11/08/range-rover/.
Did the message get through? I’m not putting my hand in the fire for it. Public outrage is the opium of the people. Shame should remain shame. Going up together against Range Rovers and Elon Musk, that’s what we do it for. Hermans spoke A child prodigy or a total loss of the massive solidarity of the stupid. You will find them on all rungs of the evolutionary ladder, because intellect does not guarantee open-mindedness. I myself am also stupid, but I am so out of honor only in a personal capacity. That’s why I’m now getting into a Range Rover again. Hooray, the Range Rover Sport PHEV has arrived! Good news for all the trolls in Camp Virtue: it’s electric. Almost, not quite. I will soon go through the dust with love for that. First the delicious facts.
It reaches 225 kilometers per hour with a system power of 440 hp and a torque of 620 Nm at 1,500 rpm – that is approximately from idle. It is good to splash with the fat one, which goes into the water up to 90 centimeters deep. It drives 113 kilometers purely electrically with a battery that, okay, would undoubtedly take an electric city car twice as far. Make that 90 in practice and it will still be emission-free much further than most plug-ins. Men with fun in life and the associated flexible morality make this happy. Finally clean hands! Especially because the Sport, which too few plug-ins can do, can charge quickly via the CCS charging port. Although it does not represent much with a maximum of 50 kW, it still means that you can easily add a nice piece of clean range along highways. If you have a generous enough lunch halfway through a 180 km ride under the smoke of the fast charger, you can cover most of the route electrically without too much delay. I did it with encouraging results. Over the first 133 kilometers I achieved 1 in 23, over the last 47.1 kilometers after the recharge I drove with a consumption of 1 to 166 almost electrically. Then I can hardly suppress the tendency to joke: cancel whoever you want, professor, but your train isn’t that economical!
Near teetotaller
Why is an almost teetotaller called Sport? Don’t imagine too much. It’s slightly lower, more ironing board-like than standard Range Rovers. Other than that it is just as quiet, incorrigibly restful ship as the normal one.
“Ready for any adventure,” says Land Rover. The polarization adventure, they mean. What does such a large battery do in a six-cylinder turbo? ask friends with a knowledge deficit naively. Then I can’t stand pure corny anymore. The battery, I say, works according to the Lucassen principle. When positive and negative neutron grains collide, connecting energy is released, which forever links premium lifestyle and sustainability. We shouldn’t talk about what the battery does underwater, but fish don’t call it the microwave for nothing.
He has more virtues that are pure evil for the opinion man. No annoying at job changes lane departurevibrations and beeps. British people don’t treat their target groups as morons; twenty bonus points. The speedometer goes up to 300, thirty bonus points. Under the cup holder is a secret storage compartment for secret things; forty bonus points. The seats are soft, the panoramic roof really opens, the engine is superior in spite of the battery load with a horny threatening, muffled soundtrack. Note to Gen Z: men from the past, and I am one of them, liked that. Were they dumb then?
What a wonderful time. Because next year the fully electric Range Rover will arrive! In due course I would like to give Professor Lucassen a lift to his Institute of Social History, where I once spent an afternoon of study as peacefully as in the Range Rover. You: “What if you have to choose, old greaser?” Me: “The Sport PHEV, a thousand times sorry!”