Iris: ‘Taking care of each other was the norm’

District nurse Iris Grimbergen (58, right) was read in winter 1970 by her sister Birgit (61, policy officer) in the living room of the parental home on Lieve Vrouwenplein in Uden.

“We lived in the old mayor’s house, opposite the Roman Catholic Kruisheren chapel and next to café ‘t Zwaantje. Papa was one of the general practitioners in Uden: Dr Koning, Helwegen and Hoevenaars the other three. Our mother did the pharmacy. As a child – four in total – we were not allowed to enter the waiting and consulting room. There were two maids. In the afternoon we had a warm meal, separated from our parents. It was a busy practice. And at home we often had people over: girlfriends who ate with us. Or long-term guests: acquaintances who needed help. In the village this sometimes caused skewed eyes. That didn’t bother our parents. You just helped others. Our upbringing was free. “There is so much that is not allowed,” our father often said. Doctor’s daughter gave prestige: special places in the church, a different treatment. Birgit was once stopped on the sidewalk while cycling. “Oh, you are one of Grimbergen. Just drive on.” Birgit didn’t accept that and demanded a fine. Mother, of course, thought that was a waste of money. Yet this suited our upbringing: not relying on your background and also earning your own money as a girl. Gifts for the doctor were normal. Our mother now says she found that difficult. You had to be thankful all year for twelve eggs. I get it. In the photo I see security: relaxed listening. I remember a white kitty in a pink dress. Birgit and I didn’t play together much, but taking care of each other was the norm. Since corona, family contact has become more frequent. There is a family app and Birgit and I call weekly. I thought she only called when something needed to be done. Birgit came up with a fixed appointment: every Wednesday. That’s nice.”