This text contains fundamental spoilers.
Is a premiere audience different from a non-premier audience? Of course. Who sits in the hall at a cinema premiere, whipped up by the presentation of briefly present stars on the screen stage, Harrison Ford, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Mads Mikkelsen and a grandiosely light-footed Thomas Kretschmann, but above all whipped up by the sovereign who fulfills all affirmation expectations Presenter Steven Gätjen – whoever sits in the auditorium at such a cinema premiere cheers and applauds even in places that are perhaps not so grandiose; In addition, there are free drinks in the foyer and an Otto Waalkes on the red carpet. The euphoria wins in such moments, it stays when the hall lights go out, and you let yourself be carried away by the action that took place in front of the screen at the premiere of “Indiana Jones and the Wheel of Destiny” in the Berlin Zoopalast , when Ford only had to say simple sentences, like when he said, “This movie is for you.”
But there are also moments when all the viewers are like they would be at a normal film screening. And there was such a moment during the performance of part five of the Indy series. Everyone was silent. It became quiet in the hall.
The climax of the third act was supposed to be – hopefully I can get that right – the Nazi Jürgen Voller (Mikkelsen) miscalculating the dates on the Archimedes disc Antikythera (who thinks up a McGuffin name like that? No fan will ever use it, him the precise and mysterious class of the “Sankara Stones” is missing, and even “Ark of the Covenant” – is that really the term in the Bible? film, is always thrown around, from robber’s hand to robber’s hand, disrespectful). However, because Voller predicted the tectonic realignment of Archimedes’ Syracuse in 212 B.C. Chr. did not consider that he did not end up with his military plane in Hitler’s Germany of 1939 as planned, but with that Archimedes in antiquity. Voller’s plane – with the captured Indiana Jones on board – bursts through the time portal in the middle of a galley skirmish plus island conquest campaign: the siege of Syracuse, Romans against Greeks. Catapult projectiles fly through the air, the Romans mistake Voller’s plane for a kite, want to get it from the firmament, the action is supposed to look like the episode of the WW2 drama “Band of Brothers” when the Americans jump over France, in a bomb-ignited Heaven.
That was too much. Sandals cinema! Asterix and Obelix. Were people flabbergasted? Probably not. The fact that no one cheered here, but everyone was quiet, may also have something to do with the fact that this setting does not suit Indiana Jones. You couldn’t believe what you saw there. The Romans and Greeks were not good looking. Costume design like from the noughties, like in “Gladiator” or “Alexander”. Or like a ZDF history show. Not enough dirt, every detail of the fittings is polished to the point of having to stand up to the scrutiny of history professors. Every second one expected a voice from the off, reporting on everyday life in antiquity.
This disparity was felt in the hall. It is possible that with “Indy 5” a second “Nuking the Fridge” is announced in the collective consciousness, which in connection with this journey through time may soon be known as “Silencing the glitch”. One was warned: Several extra shots, as well as buildings, for example from the Nazi train, had unfortunately already leaked last year. Steven Spielberg seems to have a far better grip on his sets than current director James Mangold; from the “Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” just a single detail made it onto the web in 2008, and the delinquent extra who chatted too much couldn’t get a foot on the ground after that.
Romans versus Greeks. But what happens afterwards?
Pure Indy magic. Just pure Indy magic.
Archimedes meets the badly injured Indiana Jones. He feels no pain. Another feeling prevails. Indy’s eyes fill with tears because he knows that he has arrived at the supposed destination of his dreams. On Syracuse he can touch what he would otherwise, thousands of years later, have to laboriously dig up. Everything is new. And, perhaps more importantly, he can make his Heavenly Father proud. He once had the nervous teenager recite the Greek alphabet before he was allowed to report what he had pulled out of the caves in Arches National Park. Now Indiana speaks ancient Greek to one of the smartest people to ever walk the earth. If only the senior could see that! If Indy stayed in Syracuse, he would have a new foster father in Archimedes. The mathematician was probably around 65 at the time of the siege of Syracuse, Indy was already 70 in the film (not 80 like Ford) – but no problem. He wants to stay, the decision is made. It would be an escape into lived dreams of childhood. Who doesn’t want something like that?
His goddaughter Helena (Waller-Bridge) is against it: “And with which bandages do you want to heal your wounds here?”. A legitimate objection. Now Indiana really almost starts crying, but only because he knows he’s taking the risk. Ford has mastered this facial expression: scanning the horizon, when in reality his gaze is directed inward. The archaeologist looked in depth when it came to the Holy Grail, the Ark of the Covenant and the Sankara stones, i.e. the fate of the world. At this point in the “wheel of destiny” he has already saved the world, now it’s about his own salvation. It would have been the perfect ending: Helena gets on the plane to visit her foster son Teddy (Ethan Isidore), the time window for the journey back closes, Indiana remains in a very personal Disneyland.
The actual, ie second ending (perhaps the second of supposedly five endings that were presented to the test audience at the time?) is not as perfect – but possibly more coherent, honoring the canon. Helena knocks the ailing Indy unconscious and puts him on the plane back to New York.
Cheers in the cinema hall. The world is right again!
The second ending
In New York – a cameo – the woman who actually wants to leave him is waiting for him: Marion (Karen Allen). Allen just looks great and she’s a great actress: at 71 and a three (final) minute appearance, she seems to have found her way back into the role of Marion much more than she did at 58 in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Dark Crystal Skulls,” in which Spielberg wasn’t quite sure how to stage her as a participant in action-packed action scenes. Marion’s reticence towards her lover, who may also be an alcoholic, is reflected in her caution about letting this big child back into her life. Also this end, the physical approach of the two – pure Indy magic. The “dream” or “illusion” theory is very popular among imaginative reviewers: in his last moments, a dying movie hero dreams of reuniting with a loved one who is unreachable, here Marion, and believes it to be real. But that doesn’t work with “Indy 5”. After all, he wants to stay in Sicily and can only be taken away from the island by force.
Many had hoped that Ke Huy Quan, just after winning an Oscar this year, could return as a short round. “The Wheel of Destiny” had long since turned off, and the surge in popularity of Quan, who had been in hiding for many years, was by no means in sight. And, honestly, what relationship could Indy and his foundling Shorty still have today? The boy saved his life three times (!) in the “Temple of Death”. The adult Short Round has certainly become his own fighter on the other side of the world.
What remains is his real son, Mutt. His actor, Shia LaBeouf, drove everyone mad during the filming of “Crystal Skull”. This sealed his immediate exclusion from the Indy cosmos after the recording was finished. But an Indiana son shouldn’t go unmentioned either. How do you bring in Mutt – like the others, show a souvenir photo? Again, instead, brilliant dialogue between Ford and Waller-Bridge, a heartbreaking explanation of why Indiana would happily turn back time to talk Mutt out of going to war that would take his life. The “Crystal Skull” is no worse film, but in part four, unlike “Rad”, there is not a single such sad moment that indicates trauma; the best is when Ford surveys the portrait of the late Senior (Sean Connery), a look that contains everything a son can feel about a father who has never been pleased: defiance, pride, sadness. However, there isn’t a single situation in The Crystal Skull that makes it seem like Indiana Jones could actually die.
Can LaBeouf laugh at his Mutt being buried here by a Ford who can’t stand him? Perhaps. But for all the Indy geeks’ mutt-hating, if LaBeouf hadn’t acted like a monkey on set, here’s what would have happened. He would have played in the “Rad”. So Mutt wouldn’t have died, Indy wouldn’t have been so grumpy, Marion wouldn’t have broken up with Indy, and the end of the movie would have been different. So it seems that LaBeouf made this great final moment possible in the first place – smart dude!
On the other hand, the slightly better Archimedes ending was prevented. It is an unbelievable tragedy that Indiana Jones no longer believed in getting a grip on himself and saving his marriage to Marion, but instead decided to regress back to his childhood; perhaps he is guided less by a spirit of optimism than by fatalism. Dying with one last look at the Temple of Apollo. Ford was right in 2008: Of all his roles, especially in terms of the Big Three – Han, Deckard, Indy – this one is his best.
Of course, the film has countless weaknesses. As in the Crystal Skull, it gets worse once it leaves the US. The stations in Morocco and southern Europe can hardly be distinguished from each other, European pudding meets Tintin meets bad modernity (a gangster looks like Mohammed Ben Kalisch Ezab, an ex-lover of Helena like the doorman of a Dubai disco). Greece on the Boat is reminiscent of ‘Thunderball’, which may be a good thing as the film is also set in the 1960s; but also bad because even the best Bond movie isn’t as good as the best Indiana Jones movie. In addition, the quintet around the Nazi Jürgen Voller, who lacks the imposing and thus also the danger of a real armed force (Wehrmacht, Thuggees, Red Army). And because Voller needs to be anchored in 1969 NASA-America, as a kind of more diabolical Wernher von Braun, he is assigned US agent Mason (Shaunette Renée Wilson), who has no narrative utility other than providing evidence that Voller can also fool American secret services. People of color often fulfill clichés in the Indy films, to the point of being portrayed as jokers and cannon fodder. Agent Mason isn’t, but Wilson deserves more than just being the woman who yells after the wiser Voller. A missed opportunity.
According to forecasts, the film could be a flop, the critics’ score on “Rotten Tomatoes” is alarming. But the character of Indiana Jones? She’s never been better. Ford, who will soon be 81, says he’s proud of what he’s created here. A legacy. Maybe he just means the cinema character, not the cinema adventure. And why not? He deserves to be better than his film.
“You’re a senile grave robber!” Helena says to Indy. “Why grave robbers?”. So Indy doesn’t deny that he’s senile.
But it’s not him. If Indiana Jones wants it and the stars are in his favor, he’ll even be faster than the fastest people of 1969. He doesn’t even have to leave the earth for that. Fleeing through the streets of New York, Indy gallops past a much slower convertible with astronauts Armstrong, Aldrin, and Collins in it staring at him in amazement. And he doesn’t care.