In memory | Paul Aaldering (68) from Sleen: a dentist with humor whom no one was afraid of

Long hair, sport glasses, green parka, red Tomos moped; Paul Aaldering in his secondary school days in Emmen. After moving with his parents and older brother from Arnhem, the family moved to Angelslo.

Paul stands out at the Municipal School Community (GSG) because of his humor. Chemistry teacher Skolnik, a stately man in a suit, invariably starts every lesson by reading the attendance list. “‘Yes!’ said Paul, raising his hand, while no name had yet been mentioned. Aaldering was the first name on the list. Skolnik couldn’t appreciate it and then repeated Paul’s name after all, much to the laughter of the class”, laughs school friend and neighbor Gerard Houkes. “The next lesson the whole class looked: what is Paul going to do? Skolnik was also on a too early ‘Yes!’ waiting, but Paul did nothing. A week later, when the teacher wasn’t counting on it, that hand went up again unbidden: “Yes!” The whole class was double again.”

Coke

Humor is Paul’s trademark. Coke too, by the way. Where his school friends go to drink alcohol, he sticks to cola. All his life. Paul is part of a large group of friends. On the – tuned up – mopeds they go to Westerbork, where some of the boys live. Follow the girls to the pool. Paul is a good swimmer and ditto footballer, he thinks. His friends are the best.

He is crazy about cabaret group Neerlands Hoop and can imitate many sketches to his credit. Music also keeps him busy in his GSG time. He likes to listen to bands like The Rolling Stones and Led Zeppelin and drums in a school band. Paul is also a regular visitor to the Tin Pan Alley coffee shop.

Nudist camping

During his life he drums in several cover bands. He catches the eye of Annemarie Elberse during a performance at café Groothuis at the end of 2001. They already know each other because they both play tennis, but after that performance the contact intensifies. Annemarie lives in Ermelo and many cards are sent over and over again. Paul’s lyrics peppered with humour. “He wrote them off the cuff, while I spent hours thinking about what to answer,” she laughs.

During a dinner she asks if he wants to go on vacation. Saying yes means that he has to go to a French naturist campsite for a week, which she has booked for herself out of sheer curiosity. Paul goes along. “It was not for us, but we had the greatest fun.”

They travel on and visit Gerard Houkes and his family, who are camping in the Ardèche. Paul and Gerard also share memories of the area; they camped there with friends after their final exams. “In our favorite pub in the village, the owner always turned the chairs upside down on the table at closing time, while he on firm! called out. When we wanted to have a drink there after an evening of barbecuing at the campsite, the pub turned out to be packed,” says Gerard. “Paul didn’t think twice and started to put chairs upside down on the table. ‘ On firm, on firm! ‘, he said, after which some of the café visitors left. The owner brought us five beers and a coke. We could sit and he could laugh about it.”

FC Emmen

Paul studies dentistry in Groningen. He lives in an old building on HW Van Mesdagstraat, where it leaks in the hall. When he realizes that none of his housemates are doing anything about it, he demonstratively puts a colander under it. He becomes a member of student society Albertus Magnus, where he quickly shows that he is averse to ranks and positions. Verbally he can handle the seniors.

He remains – even later – averse to elitist behaviour, is intelligent and verbally strong. Paul can have a conversation with anyone. In groups he sees very quickly how the mutual relationships are and he can get along with everyone. A connector. Annemarie: “He managed to get the sting out of something with a witticism.”

He is a member of several service clubs and has held various board positions over the years, including the chairmanship of the Supervisory Board of ‘his’ club FC Emmen, where he himself played in the youth. But no one ever looks up to him. After his farewell in 2010, Paul is back in the stands in the stadium and not in the business lounge. He enjoys being among the fans.

Women’s attention

In 1982 he moved to De Brink in Sleen with his then wife Wilma, where he took over a small dental practice at home. A few years after son Wouter is born in 1983, they separate. Paul works hard to expand his practice. Not an easy time. “But whatever bumps he encountered in life, he is never his joie de vivre lost”, Gerard smiles.

He also just got divorced at that time. They go on vacation together again and go out. Paul has no lack of attention from women. “If there were six ladies and two gentlemen at a table, he would entertain the women. Entirely without ulterior motives. He was good with women and she with him.”

Paul likes to entertain anyway. After a tennis tournament in Sleen or at parties; everyone always hopes that he will say something. He is famous for his humorous speeches and sometimes tells Annemarie that he would have liked to be a cabaret artist.

Paul’s Angels

They marry in 2002. Together they walk a lot and travel far. They also regularly go to Ameland, where they buy an apartment. The dental practice, which grows to more than two thousand patients, moves to a building a few hundred meters away.

Paul is very active in Sleen and is known as a social dentist, who always has time for a chat. The assistants are known as ‘Paul’s Angels’. People who are afraid of the dentist, dare to sit in his chair. He explains a lot and makes drawings on napkins. When he retires at the end of 2018, he will receive his angels returned some napkins that had been saved.

The relationship with son Wouter is good and Paul has become a grandfather. He invariably goes to the cinema with Wouter when a new James Bond film is out, to concerts and the Blues Festival in Grolloo. Every week he visits the Houkes family. Just going through the week, talking old hooters. In recent years he has been playing drums with Old Spices, a band whose members are friends.

Physically it is less. Paul has osteoarthritis in his hands and a worn hip and knee. He goes to the urologist if he suspects he has an inguinal hernia. The result on October 13 comes as a blow: kidney cancer in an advanced stage. The next day he has to go back for further investigation, but it doesn’t come to that. He dies unexpectedly that same evening of cardiac arrest. “Paul saved himself a lot of suffering,” a close friend will later say. Old Spices plays at his funeral, without a drummer. FC Emmen will play the next match with mourning bands. In Arnhem, as if it should be.