Image cleaning company – NRC

Novovorontsovka is a village in Ukraine and that Novovorontsovka seems like a complicated name to me. Especially if you, as a resident of that place, have had a good drink and a Russian ruler asks you where you live. Fortunately, the pleasant municipality on the Dnieper is now back in Ukrainian hands. At least what’s left of it.

Do I understand that the Russians are slowly but surely losing ground because their tanks are rusting in the mud near Kiev, the food and petrol are gone and they don’t have a single cruise missile left?

That’s not because of Wopke. He does not put in the way of Thierry’s Russian friends. Did you see our Minister of Foreign Affairs shooting in the House on Thursday? It was downright pathetic. They really should send those images to Zelensky. So that this heroic president can get a good picture of his allies. You won’t win the war that way. What are we? A cowardly dwarf state on the North Sea where the haggling of the oligarchs is regulated in a suburb of the capital. I fear that most Zuidas lawyers are year-club members of corpsbal Wopke and that they have called him in recent weeks with the discreet question whether he would give them another month so that their Eastern Bloc clients could properly channel their rubles to other global money havens. And there were also some sloops towed. Wopke would arrange that and two days later called Deloitte to ask if they could conduct a thorough investigation. Deloitte had to think about it for a while, but called back two weeks later to ask what it was all about. Someone had left his notes in the subway. Wopke said it was about the Russian assets. Deloitte asked if that was no longer a matter for Sigrid. So finance. Wopke would check that. And then he would immediately check if the Russian real estate did not fall under Hugo. Five days later, Wopke called back. The rough rubles did indeed fall under Kaag, who immediately informed him that the Tax Authorities did not have a special list of suspected Russians. They are all white and the tax authorities traditionally only suspect people of color. They knew the name Hugo at Deloitte. It dances through another cozy file. A rush job that will be finished in 2027.

Last Thursday evening, Wopke was at home distraught and sobbing for help. Nationally he was indeed an asshole, but internationally he was completely the lazy loser of the European Union. He considered calling Ronald de Boer. Maybe he wanted to put in a good word for him. Preferably with school newspaper journalist Humberto, who only asks pleasant questions. Ronald could just reduce the number of Ukrainian victims to three and then perhaps explain that Mariupol was just not that well built. Hence the ruins.

Liselot whispered in Wopke’s ear at night that it might be better if he stops doing it anyway. And that he immediately abolish the CDA. Because that’s better for everyone. How? She told him to watch Lil Kleine’s recent Thai regret video. In it, the rapper promises to get well. I have no idea who the advisors of this woman swatter are, but they may well come from the same image polishing company as Marc Overmars’s. But according to Liselot, Wopke should make such a film. Sitting on a mailbox in the Virgin Islands.

Maybe that cleaning company should talk to Will Smith, too. Because it could also be a bit more powerful. That weak wimp is not being asked for fight movies in Hollywood for the time being. So you don’t give a blow, do you?

But take it from me: from now on Wopke is calmly working on his farewell and will probably get a nice job at Deloitte. And he will undoubtedly receive a touching note from Vladimir Putin. Thanks for the services rendered. And whether he wants to become mayor of the now Russian Novovorontsovka.