“I had to accept that that person no longer exists”

Congressman Maria Guzenina (sd) walks briskly towards the cafeteria of the Parliament. It is quiet at the heart of Finnish democracy, because the interview is being conducted on the last day of the session before the election break.

Maria says that she cleaned her office in case the parliamentary seat was not renewed in the spring elections. On the wall is a framed genuine Maalaisliitto election poster warning against socialism and communism.

– A few centrists have asked if I would give it up, Maria says with amusement.

Very exceptional years are behind us: first, the pandemic that stopped the whole world, the war in Ukraine and the resulting economic crisis.

Major changes have also taken place in Maria’s private life. Her mother had a serious cerebral infarction in the fall of 2020. A little later, her mother was also diagnosed with a progressive memory disorder.

Maria has not spoken publicly about the progression of her mother’s dementia. A few colleagues in the Parliament have known about the situation in the family.

– I have sometimes had to leave work in the middle of the working day and drive to my mother’s house, when she might have gone to the neighbors, for example, says Maria.

Everything seems to have happened quickly, even too quickly. In the midst of grief, Maria wanted to guarantee her mother a good rest of her life.

– My mother has been allowed to live for 2.5 years at home in a safe environment. I have done everything in my power to make it possible.

This year, however, the situation progressed to the point that Maria had to find a care home for her. Fortunately, one was found.

– Making that decision was more difficult for me than for him. Mother went there somehow happy. We decorated her room with familiar furniture and hung mother’s paintings on the walls. At the end, he got really tired of me Alex-for messing with my son.

Maria is talking about a kind of pain of giving up. He had to say goodbye to the mother he knew, who was always there.

Tears have not been avoided.

– I had to accept that that person no longer exists. She is no longer a mother asking me how I am or a grandmother to my son. They were really close.

– A few times, when the sadness of the situation has taken over me during the work day and the tears have flowed, I’ve gone somewhere else for a while to cry. Then I went to continue my work in the committee.

Mother and daughter

The rays of the morning sun hit the cafe’s green mirrored ceiling. It feels like looking at the deep sea. Sometimes Maria likes to come here to work even on weekends.

– Buses to Klaukkala, where I lived in my childhood, used to leave from that corner of Lasipalatsi, the MP gestures with his hand.

When Maria is asked what she was like when she was young, the answer is not terribly flattering. Finn-faced, insecure, haughty and stooped. These are the words the MP describes himself. The overriding feeling in my youth was shame towards my own home, because my father’s drinking problems and violence overshadowed my childhood.

Mother’s illness brought back memories.

– I never brought anyone home to the village because I didn’t want to show my home. I didn’t enjoy myself there either. As an elementary school student, I spent a lot of time in the children’s section of the Richardinkatu library. As a teenager, when we moved to Espoo, I used to sit in the libraries of Leppävaara and Tapiola, Maria recalls.

Before her father’s death, Maria found out that she has a half-sister, Katarina. Getting to know a new family member opened Maria’s eyes. Although their father had not acted well with Maria, the father did not repeat the same mistakes with Katarina.

– No one should stamp that someone is forever a certain way. During human life, so many shaping things happen. If we understand that we ourselves grow as human beings, we must understand the same growth in others. A person can be completely different after a few decades than they were before.

Maria has not felt any bitterness. He has forgiven. I remember the last conversation before my mother’s brain infarction.

– My mother asked me in the middle of the mushroom trip if I was angry with her because my mother was with my father for so long. Mother was afraid of what would have happened to us if we had been left alone. Those words have echoed in my ears for 2.5 years very strongly.

– It hasn’t occurred to me to be angry with him. He did what he thought was best at the time.

Responsibility for life

Maria admits that she is a caregiver who takes care of the well-being of others. Over the years, however, he has had to learn that he cannot neglect his own coping skills indefinitely.

– It is really important to be aware of the responsibility for your own life, and to give it value. You can’t just throw yourself on the waves, you take ownership of it in your own life.

This is what Maria had to do with her own love life. A relationship that lasted eight years Kari Mokon with came to an end last year. The couple announced it on social media in November.

– When the arc of a relationship is coming to an end, a person knows it. Some things have to be accepted as they are because you can’t change it.

The couple has remained on good terms since the breakup.

– Eight years of being in a relationship, living together, It would be crazy if all that friendship, mutual respect and the things you liked about each other suddenly disappeared. It’s been awfully easy for me to continue being friends after a relationship. I don’t see any other way to approach it.

Maria is in no hurry to start a new relationship. He plans to focus now on his own well-being and that of his loved ones. The early morning runs have turned into life pits.

– I have found it wonderful to walk through the snowdrifts to my nearby rock this winter. On some clear mornings, the sky is completely red, it has been kept for a long time to look at and take a deep breath. It is so important to be present.

Makeup: Jaana Veronika. Styling: Annette Tamminen. Maria’s clothes: Flower dress/Reserved. Pants suit/Reserved. Blouse/Gestuz. White jeans/Gant. Scarf/Gant.