“It has been about three weeks since my best friend texted me that we should talk. I hadn’t spoken to her for a while and immediately felt that something was wrong. When I asked her if I could call her, she said, “It’s better if I tell you face-to-face.” So it had to be something very important. I couldn’t wait any longer and called her anyway: ‘Are you pregnant?’ I joked…
Then it went eerily quiet on the other end of the line. I wasn’t sure if I’d said something wrong or if she was kidding me. Suddenly she said: ‘Yes, already three weeks, from my new friend, André.’ I’d never met André, I just knew he was much older, so I didn’t really know what to say. Should I congratulate her? Or should I say it was very early in the relationship? Hesitantly, I decided to say, ‘Ennn… are you going to keep it?’ There was another awkward silence until she said firmly, “Yeah, I’m going to keep the baby. I’m 100 percent sure that André and I are made for each other.’ Oh, I thought: are they going to get married too? She just knows him! And she just got out of a long relationship…
In shock
She kept talking on the phone about how happy she is with André and ‘how nice it is’ that she is becoming a mother. But I don’t know that best man at all! I’ve only seen a fuzzy picture of him. He’s not even on Facebook. At the end of the conversation she told me that she will be moving in with him later that week… in Belgium! It took me a while to realize: ‘Are you moving to another country as well?’ I was blown away and decided to hang up on an excuse.
When I had recovered a bit from the initial shock, I decided to visit her. I just had to look her in the eye, because I still didn’t quite believe it. Once on the couch with her with a cup of tea, she said she had another surprise for me. I had to close my eyes and at ‘3’ I was allowed to look. The stone of her ring glittered at me. I was dumbfounded….
sadness
My first reaction was ‘Congratulations!’ but it didn’t sound sincere and it wasn’t. No, I was not happy with all this news. It was too much, too fast and too drastic. Another impulsive action from her, after which I had to glue the shards all too often. How could I warn her of the drastic, hasty choices she’s making? How could I say anything without hurting her? When I thought I was aware of everything, the hit came. She asked, ‘You are my best friend. You know me through and through and that’s why I want to ask you something very special: do you want to be my witness?’
And then something very bad happened. I’m still ashamed when I think about it… I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. It didn’t stop, I got all corny. “You want me to be your witness when I’ve never met that new man of yours?” I said. She started to cry and I walked off in silence.
End of friendship?
So that was three weeks ago and I still haven’t heard from her. I am afraid that my reaction has ruined our friendship for many years and I am very sorry. So I’m in a huge dilemma. Do I have to make amends and say that I want to be her witness anyway, in order to save our friendship? Or should I not do it, because I don’t really support her choices?”