Where do the correspondents run from de Volkskrant encounter in their daily lives? Today: Eline Huisman sees in France how the french kiss is under discussion.
In the light of the great discovery, some customs suddenly take on an unexpected shine. Personally, I think the French kissing culture is a good example of this. The real french kiss is not romantic and – if all goes well – there is certainly no tongue involved: la bise is the kiss on the cheek with which you can greet friends, family and even colleagues in France.
Of course, you say, we also know that in the Netherlands. But in France, the kiss is more accessible, more commonplace. House party with French friends? Not only the host, but also the rest of the party gets two kisses. New to the boot camp club? Naturally welcome with two kisses. Have a nice chat with the seller of that nice boutique? The next time the greeting sounds like mwah-mwah (note: the sound is an indispensable part, I learned on the countless websites that like to introduce the stranger to the art of French kissing, but it needs to be done carefully. Keep it subtle and not too wet at all times).
I have not always been an unqualified supporter of the kissing phenomenon. My sister and I used to be able to lock ourselves in the toilet for an afternoon just to avoid kissing that one uncle. And the discomfort of that first office day of the new year – to kiss or not to kiss – is no stranger to me either. But from a spontaneous one french kiss I am no longer scared anymore. In fact, without it it sometimes even feels a bit bare.
The French usage of the bise goes according to Xavier Fauche, who has devoted a book to it (LeBaiser), back to the Romans. They even had a special term for the greeting kiss as a sign of courtesy: base. The French word is said to be derived from it. And although the plague in the 14th century put an end to the use of la biseit gradually came back into use after the First World War.
The etiquette surrounding the kiss is determined regionally. Those who want to do a preliminary study can visit the website Combiendebises.free.fr. When in doubt, in Paris and the majority of the French departments, two kisses are the norm. But in the south there are sometimes three, and in Champagne even four is not unusual. And while around the Mediterranean and Corsica one would usually start on the right, in the rest of the country starting on the left seems to be the safest choice (i.e. on the right cheek of the other).
But now the French kiss is threatened with extinction. Since the start of the pandemic, the media has regularly speculated about the future of la bise. According to a recent poll commissioned by Radio France, 90 percent of the French say they are in favor of the abolition of the kiss at work, and some see the pandemic as a perfect reason to refrain from it in the private sphere from now on. At the same time, the number of supporters of the handshake is growing.
In my area, the balance is still in favor of the kiss for the time being. To my delight, I would say. Provided, with the bise is it just like with the croissant: it comes into its own in France itself. But every time I run into my neighbor in the park or return to my regular hairdresser, those two kisses make me feel a little more at home in Paris.
Eline Huisman is a Volkskrant correspondent in France based in Paris.