The end of the year should be a time of joy, but it is often a moment of great stress. The reasons for feeling anxious and even frustrated are many. The feeling of the end of a cycle and uncertainty by which it begins; The personal balance that is not always positive, the absence of loved ones that is especially noticeable at the family tables and the hustle and bustle of preparing celebrations and vacations are the main reasons for overflowing.
That always happens every end of the year. But to these dates, this time, unique factors are added: the political changes in the country, with its enormous share of uncertainty, plus the forecast that 2024 will be one of the most difficult years we can remember, add anguish and unease to a time that should be one of happiness. How do we handle so much pressure without stopping enjoying the pleasant moments? The specialists give us an answer.
Celebrations and end of cycle
“Anniversaries and holidays tend to trigger situations that precipitate certain traumatic experiences”; defines Cinthia García Fiorillo, therapist specializing in psychotraumatology, who explains that the closing of the year always activates the central nervous system. “You start to feel anxious, to want to start activities. To ask you about the year that begins. But also to take stock. A feeling of frustration and hyperdemand tends to increase. You take responsibility for decisions you made, for the ties you cut,” she explains.
The family meetings of the time are a topic in themselves. The increase in contact, disagreements (especially if it touches on the triad of controversy: politics, sex and religion), past wounds or being forced to share the table with someone we do not like, can be the cause of a lot of problems. anger and displeasure. Fiorillo advises “learning to regulate yourself.” “Regulating is the ability to reconnect with being able to choose. In behavioral terms it means asking yourself what I feel, where I feel it and what I can offer myself in terms of behavior, in each situation. How much to bond with the other and how much not to. How much to stay in one place and how much not to. At the end of the year, feelings of loneliness increase greatly in some people. If I am sad, it is key to seek to talk to someone, ask for help or support. And at the same time be clear that it is important to maintain ties, but not at the expense of whatever it may be,” he says.
Diana Sahovaler de Litvinoff, psychoanalyst from APA (Argentine Psychoanalytic Association) emphasizes the need to create the perfect moment. “Humans are dissatisfied by nature, they never manage to materialize all their projects. The end of the year confronts us with that relationship between our ideals and reality, and it is common frustration, guilt, reproaches. It is good to find acceptance of what was possible and what was not possible, and to think that one did the best,” explains the specialist.
Regarding stress, psychologist Walter Ghedin explains: “it is a state of tension, alarm in the face of uncertainty, the feeling that something threatens and that we have to be prepared. The end of the year provokes mixed feelings: we want to enjoy, but at the same time we are defensive. “At this time one misses being a child, who was not aware of family tensions or uncertainty.”
Politics as conflict
The dizzying changes promoted by the new government, just a few weeks after taking office, are producing great confusion that especially affects the personal and family economy. At this time of year, this is associated with two fundamental factors: typical purchases and expenses of the season and the start of the holidays. The climate of growing social conflict also increases the level of tension that we all experience.
“In addition to traditional stress factors, there is uncertainty about the direction of the country and the feeling that difficult times await us. In fact, more than uncertainty, for many people it is a certainty,” explains Sahovaler, who recommends relying on the support that ties provide. Fiorillo joins the council and calls, to the extent that time and pocketbooks allow, to not stop frequenting places and people that transmit calm and security, and to protect oneself from conflictive situations.
“Not to flee, but to exercise the right to choose. Seek the feeling of control, not in an obsessive sense, but in the sense that ‘I have options’. The feeling of uncontrollability triggers the central nervous system, because a dangerous situation is perceived. Not knowing what is going to happen with the economic measures, how much things are going to increase. This can generate anxiety disorders but also depression and post-traumatic stress,” explains Fiorillo.
Along the same lines, Ghedin recommends not anticipating what you think is going to happen. “The mind constructs possible scenarios to defend ourselves by envisioning critical situations that might not be so serious,” explains the specialist, who also thinks that “it is not healthy to keep our emotions to ourselves” and recommends “sharing what happens to us with loved ones.” And if political discussions at meetings are inevitable, thinking before reacting: “Is it worth it to distress or irritate me in this way?” is a good guiding question to prevent the situation from getting out of control and anxiety. ruin a social situation that, beyond the crisis, is an opportunity to reconnect with others.
And if all that fails, that’s what vacations are for. Clearing your mind is a good way to start the new year and a concrete goal that reconciles with the near future. Maybe it won’t be so easy in 2024, it will be fewer days, or somewhere closer; But as Fiorillo suggests, it is important to ask ourselves “what can I give myself to be better.”
“In a pause we can question existing ways of acting, we can come up with new ideas or we can simply appreciate the life we have. Without stopping for a moment to observe ourselves, how can we analyze what other things we could do or who we could become? If we always move forward without rest, where is there room for the heart?” proposes Robert Poynton, educator, fan of the “slow” lifestyle and author of the book “Pause” (Koan).
When problems seem to have no solution, walking away, detaching, unplugging, can be a first step to finding a way out. That’s why the break that marks the holidays is important.
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