Understanding why it cuts, allying with the institute and seeking professional therapy with scientific evidence are essential steps to help you overcome the problem
Receiving an email from the institute warning of cases of self-harm among students is devastating for any mother and father. If the one who harms himself is your son or daughter, the pain, the fear and the bewilderment rises to infinity. It may also be that it is the family itself that detects the cuts by chance or by being extremely cautious, when a change in attitude, discomfort or anxiety is perceived in the kids.
To do? The first step is to face the problem and not panic, but have a calm attitude. Very difficult, but essential. Your son is not a weirdo. It happens more than we think (especially from 2nd ESO). We are facing a public health problem. “It is very difficult for parents to ask for help. We think that they are adolescent things and that they will pass. But if you detect that your child is intentionally hurting himself, if you see him badly at school, if you know that he is related to toxic people or if you notice him isolated, do not hesitate: ask for professional help,” he explains. Jordi Royo, clinical director of Amalgama 7. How to ask for help? When? To who? Here are five keys.
Understanding why he does it: it is a phenomenon other than suicide
Self-injury appears as a symptom in different clinical diagnoses. For example, in borderline personality disorder, in eating behavior and in anxiety. Decades ago, it was associated only with those diagnoses. However, it is now known that self-harm has its own entity (associated, above all, with an emotional regulation problem) and does not have to be related to these diagnoses. That is, self-injury can not only occur among the population with mental health disorders but also in the general population. Daniel Vega MorenoPhD in Psychology, health psychologist at the University Hospital of Igualada and coordinator of the Self-Harm Study and Treatment Group (Greeta) Remember that self-harm is a separate phenomenon from suicide. The person who intentionally inflicts harm on himself does so, in most cases, to try to regulate an emotional discomfort that causes him suffering. “Or for regulate a social situation complicated”, adds Vega Moreno. For example, there are those who do it to feel more attached to his group of friends or because he thinks that they will pay more attention to him. Self-harm does not have to be linked to a serious mental disorder.
Although self-harm does not have to be a symptom of a serious mental disorder, the problem must be addressed. The clinical psychologist Daniel Vega Moreno recalls the fundamental role of fathers and mothers, and insists that ask for professional help it is essential if there are three characteristics in the self-injury of the children: the The method used is severe, the practice is recurrent and fulfills the function of regulating an emotion.
Before asking for help, the fundamental step is to know that your child does indeed cut himself. In these cases (and in all), the institute must be an ally for families because teachers spend many hours with our sons and daughters. “There are families that know it and others don’t. It is a very complex problem & rdquor ;, they warn the psychologist Eva Peraire and the educator Toya García, who work as counselors at the Montgròs Institute (Barcelona). “We have to be by their side, that they see us close. If not, they will not tell us things & rdquor ;, they insist. After highlighting that self-harm “has skyrocketed” after the confinement due to the pandemic, both counselors ask fathers and mothers to touch all the keys to request information and request help. The institute can also lend a hand in this regard. The problem is the same as always: the saturation of public health services, which causes families (those with a high purchasing power) to go to private care and those that do not, remain orphans. In any case, it is important to make a Consult your pediatrician or family doctorwho is the one who can transfer the file to the mental health professionals.
Search for accredited professionals
Like any disorder, there are more serious and less. Psychological therapy will vary depending on how your son or daughter’s problem is. The recovery process can be long. Patience. A fundamental rule is run away from shamans, gurus and so-called mental health experts that, in reality, they are neither trained nor are health psychologists. In summary: flee from pseudopsychology and bet on scientific psychology. “There are therapies backed by scientific evidence and we know they work,” says Vega Moreno, Ph.D. in Psychology. It’s a complex issue, but basically the patient You must learn to tolerate and live with emotional discomfort without having to hurt yourself to counteract it.. Boys and girls will end up being aware of the advantages of not self-harming and will have learned other ways to solve their problems and deal with emotions. They will also learn to calm down.
Brief therapies, even on mobile
The Greta group was born in 2016 thanks to the impulse of several health professionals who came together to provide scientific and rigorous information on non-suicidal self-harm, as well as contribute to its prevention. Its website is very complete, offers rigorous information and refutes a few myths. Coordinated by Vega Moreno, the group is currently working on brief psychological treatments to treat these patients. He is even developing a mobile application.