Single at Christmas is often synonymous with loneliness. If not for those who experience it firsthand, for those who see it from the outside. And it’s immediately dramatic. Mom, sister and friends start to pity those who are not alone, but are only free. Yet the incursions of friends and relatives can, even in good faith, ruin the holidays. As experience the Christmas and New Year period as a celebration and not as a sentence?
A choice or a sentence?
«First of all we need to ask ourselves: “Am I single and am I doing well or badly?”. Don’t have a partner in many cases it is a choice. Otherwise it can be a difficult condition and tiring. Especially during the holiday season which touch deep chords in those who are experiencing a moment of malaise. Maybe my sister is at the dinner with her husband, or my best friend has received her long-awaited ring as a gift from her boyfriend. But Being alone is not bad luck and therefore we must not live with anxiety, stress and a feeling of injustice. So what to do? Psychology is not an exact science, but somehow it can help you achieve a good balance with a few small rules. The first is: to prevent», explains the Doctor Marinella CozzolinoPsychotherapist and Clinical Sexologist.
Password: prevention
«Those who experience being single badly must try to prevent and organize parties so you don’t suffer from loneliness. And this doesn’t just apply to Christmas but to every day of the year. There are people abandoned from one day to the next by their partner who, rather than spending the holidays alone, they sign up for an app meetings. There are singles returning for Christmas they organize trips with friends. There are those who decide to use a less than favorable situation to do good for others is involved in volunteering or whoever chooses to go visit relatives who live on the other side of the world. In short, anyone who doesn’t want to be alone doesn’t fit in”, continues the expert.
Christmas as a single: neutralize questions from relatives
«During the holidays, in which the image of the happy family reigns, unpleasant questions from relatives risk causing more harm. The “classics” are: “When are you getting engaged?”, “When are you getting married?” or, for those who are already in a couple: “When is a baby?”. Even in this case it is necessary to act upstream to create relationships that do not allow this type of question. For a simple reason: they are not done. People don’t know a little, they don’t care a little, they’re curious a little, they rejoice in other people’s shortcomings a little. Indeed, there is those who use what they consider to be the failures of others to feel a little better about themselves. This is how I usually act people with low self-esteem. If I am already a victim of a situation, because I am single and I don’t want to, I certainly cannot be a victim of something else. This is why we need to react”, advises Doctor Cozzolino.
Christmas as a single: why be sincere
«One option is to play early, declaring first and say clearly: “Since I know you will ask me, please know that I am not engaged and at the moment I really have no intention of doing so.”. Alternatively you can choose to accept questions and answer with extreme serenity. We are talking about friends and relatives, that is, people we love. Therefore their questions could be the manifestation of a real interest in us. They could hide: “How I can help?”. Opening up can have the effect of finding new possible solutions. Maybe the cousin, understanding the difficulty, could offer to go out with us more often. Which could turn out to be a really positive thing”, concludes the expert.
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