By Jana Förster and Konstantin Marrach
Apparently, size doesn’t matter. It doesn’t either, if you know how to deal with it… This applies to men who have rather small penises as well as to men who are significantly better endowed. Jana Förster’s new column is about this topic.
Reader Adrian (26) from Tegel asks for advice from the sex counselor. He writes: “I have a problem that is increasingly bothering me. When erect, my penis is 24 cm long. As a teenager, I already noticed that I seem to be well equipped above average. I could always brag about it to my buddies and, to be honest, I was very proud of it.
But ever since I had my first sexual experiences, I’ve noticed that a large penis can also cause problems. For example, I have great difficulty finding a condom that fits. Everything I’ve gotten in stores just doesn’t fit.
My girlfriends have always had a great desire to have sex with me when they felt my size during the first advances and petting. But they were almost always disappointed afterwards and said that a few centimeters less would have been enough for them.
Do you have any tips on how I can learn to deal with it better? After all, I can only really enjoy sex if the woman is having fun too.”
Sex counselor Jana Förster answers: “The size of the penis is extremely important for many men. The bigger the better, many think. But is that really the case?
Let’s look at the average numbers. The global average is a good 13 cm in length for an erect penis. According to studies, German men vary between 13 and 14.48 cm on average. In principle, however, one can say that everything between 7.5 and 19.5 centimeters is within the normal range.
Below 7.5 cm we speak of a micropenis. Anything over 19.5 centimeters is larger than average. The size of the penis is predetermined. The origin, the genetics and also the actual body size have an influence on this.
Sayings like: “As a man’s nose, so is his John.” have now been refuted by studies. (sorry guys…)
Most condoms come in the standard size of 53 millimeters. Only about 20% of men in Germany have this condom size. It’s less about the length and more about the shaft of the penis, because the condom has to fit perfectly here so that it doesn’t jam, but also doesn’t sit too loose.
So it stands to reason that around 80% of men do not ideally fit into the standard size of a commercially available condom. It should then feel similar to wearing a shoe that is permanently too tight (or slightly too big). Just the best bit.
I therefore like to recommend the condoms from my.Size, as everything from size 45 to even 72 is now available. There are great ways to measure your condom size beforehand and then order the right condom.
But not only the right condom is important. If you are very well equipped, you can follow a few rules so that sex is pleasant and your sexual partner does not make a pained face.
Preparation is everything
From a biological point of view, there is no such thing as a vagina that is too tight! The female body is designed to give birth to children. This makes the vagina extremely flexible. It has a length of about 12 to 14 centimeters by itself, and according to medical information it can stretch up to 200% during sex.
For this reason, extensive and good foreplay is extremely important. It is used for arousal and the female body has time to prepare for the upcoming sex. The more aroused the woman, the more receptive she will be.
You should always be very careful when penetrating and give her the chance, so to speak, to slowly get used to your size.
The right position
There are positions that are particularly suitable for sex with an XXL penis. Positions in which she can determine the depth are particularly advisable. Above all, the rider position, the missionary position (here she can help determine the depth by tilting her pelvis) and the lotus position are particularly suitable, since wonderful circular movements are also possible here.
The right tools
To avoid pain during sex with a large penis, lube should always be on hand. Even if she is very wet at the beginning, this can change quickly due to the friction of a long member. If the mucous membrane becomes too dry, pain and cramping of the pelvic floor are inevitable.
Dear Adrian, I wish you a suitable ‘counterpart’ and a lot of joy and fulfillment in your sex life, even if you are a little larger than average.
You’ll get into a groove with the tips above, I’m sure.”
Do you have questions for the expert?
Is there a crisis in your relationship and you don’t know why? Isn’t bed like it used to be? Do you have an erotic fantasy, but don’t know how to talk to your partner about it or live it out with her?
You can ask your questions in the popular BZ series “Frau Förster’s Question Time” – completely anonymously, of course.
Our expert Jana Förster, who has been working as a sex counselor since 2016, takes on the problems and answers them in her weekly online column.
Send your questions by e-mail to [email protected] or by post to: Question Hours, Redaktion BZ, Axel-Springer-Straße 65, 10888 Berlin.