Behavioral psychologist Chantal van der Leest once got the full brunt of her boss. Even the tomatoes she bought for lunch were all wrong. Why don’t bystanders intervene in such a situation?
I quickly wiped away a tear as my colleague entered the kitchen. “Oh, don’t be ashamed,” she comforted. “You are not the first. She has already made grown men cry.” As a recent graduate I had found a temporary job. I immediately became the director’s favorite, until her mood completely changed. Even the tomatoes I got for lunch were all wrong. My colleagues quietly chewed their sandwiches while I took the brunt of the brunt.
Such practices are not unique. If you open the newspaper, you will come across many such stories. Institutions where a culture of fear has prevailed for years, directors who shout and throw things, transgressive behaviour, bullying and racism behind the scenes in TV programs. The list keeps getting longer.
What these cases have in common: nobody did anything. The reasons for this are too varied to list them all here. Sometimes the confidant turned out to be the bogeyman’s partner, or people were afraid of getting a bad name and having nowhere to go.
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If none of the attendees respond, you may get the idea that it’s normal
But I also had to think of the so-called bystander effect. Something bad happens and bystanders don’t intervene, when they should. There are two explanations for this: people feel less responsible for the situation when there are many others around. Moreover, it is not always clear to bystanders what exactly is going on.
If your colleague falls and shouts ‘ouch my ankle’, then you will come to the rescue. But how bad are subcutaneous ‘jokes’ or a managerial tantrum exactly? If none of the attendees respond, you may get the idea that it’s normal. Especially if you haven’t been around the job market that long.
Room full of smoke
In a classic study, test subjects remain seated in a room filled with smoke, because others – actors who are part of the study – also remain seated. The test subjects make up excuses for themselves why the smoke is probably harmless. Maybe something with the air conditioner.
We don’t want to overreact if nothing turns out to be wrong. Just knowing that our brains work this way appears to counteract this bystander effect. Try to empathize with the other person and don’t wait to intervene until others do something.
Want to know more about psychology and work? Read Chantal’s books Why perfectionists are rarely happy, 13 tips against perfectionism (2021) and Our fallible thinking at work (2018).
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