THEthe secret to live well with yourself? Learning to appreciate moments of solitude which, if well exploited, can certainly give us numerous opportunities. To reveal it to us is the honjoka revolutionary movementborn in South Korea. The term – a combination of hon (only) e jok (tribe) – indicates in fact the concept of “one-person tribe” and refers to those individuals who decide to celebrate one’s loneliness and independence doing things that are usually done in company. Including eating, drinking, watching a movie or traveling. The target? Contrary to what one might think, it is not to live isolated from the world but rather to claim the right to be able to feel good even alone.
How honjok is born
South Korea is the cradle of honjok, which in the last fifty years has been the protagonist of numerous social and economic changes. Many young Koreanswho grew up in a collectivist society based on rigid rules of respect for authority and hierarchies, have found a way toget rid of social pressuresmarrying a new lifestylebased on the chance (and opportunity) to spend time alone.
The secrets of honjok in a book
From this context was born the phenomenon of honjok to which the book is dedicated “HONJOK: The Korean method to live happy with yourself”, published by Vivida, a brand of the international publishing house White Star. The volume, written by the Italian journalist Silvia Lazzaris and the Korean author Jade Jeongso An, investigates the honjok phenomenon in all its facetsrevealing, also through funny pop illustrations (curated by Francesca Leoneschi and Giovanna Ferraris), all the world of neologisms born around this new philosophy of life. Fromhonbapthat is the solitary meals to which an entire chapter is dedicated, tohonsul, drinking alone, untilhonhaenga term that indicates traveling without companions.
In this new way of life, young Koreans have found the opportunity to escape the roles imposed by society. A possibility offered above all to girls if we consider that, explains Silvia Lazzaris, “living alone, for a Korean woman, is a way to put her individual needs and desires not so much above affection as above marriage as an institution, which in Korea represents traditional loyalty to hierarchy and authority“.
The cover of the book “HONJOK: The Korean method to live happy with yourself”, published by Vivida
The art of knowing how to be alone
But beware of misunderstandings: as the authors of the book make clear, “being honjok does not mean being immune to lonelinessbut simply being exposed to it more regularly e perhaps learn to manage it more consciously “. And it is precisely this awareness that can also become a source of inspiration for us Westerners.
They analyze the lifestyle habits of young honjocs, the book also offers ideas and exercises to put into practice in everyday life to make peace with the concept of “loneliness” which very often puts us in crisis.
Although the honjok represents in fact a phenomenon in some ways ambivalent and not without contradictions, it nevertheless offers some useful teachings that we can take advantage of us too in our daily life.
What can we learn from honjok?
There loneliness is a condition from which we often tend to escapeeven more so in an era, such as that of the pandemic, which has forced many people to deal with self-isolation and forced social withdrawal.
But if seeking the company of other people is a natural and healthy instinct, avoid moments of solitude at all costs can lead us inexorably to get away from who we are and what we really want. Being comfortable with oneself is in fact the fundamental premise, not only to live in balance, but also to create mature bonds with others.
At the restaurant alone, why not?
Not only that, we often tend to avoid moments of solitude even for social conventions still deeply rooted. The classic example? To go at the cinema alone rather than indulge in a solitary dinner outare situations still often considered “sad“. Also in this sense, then, the nonconformity of young honjoks it can teach us a lot. First of all, to give less importance to the judgment of others, putting our needs first and focusing on what really matters, that is do something that makes us feel good. Even if we are not in company. The important thing – the honjoc teaches – is how to deal with certain situations: in a restaurant alone, for example, you enter with your head held high asking, why not, even a table with a view.
Exercises to try
Not to mention that life situations can also force us to deal with loneliness. Let’s think, for example, at the end of a relationship, a delicate moment in which to learn how to feel good about yourself and rediscover the pleasure of doing something just for us can really make a difference. But how to make peace, then, with the concept of loneliness?
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