4 to 9 years: get back into the rhythm
“Children’s coach Jeanette Sjardijn: “Going to bed on time is important, but be realistic. You can’t expect your child to go upstairs two hours early on their own without a murmur from one day to the next. Provide a transition period: eat on time, but after that you can still play a game.”
Make time for the child outside school
Jeanette: „The summer holidays can certainly feel like an endless period for the youngest. The transition to school is then a big one. Your child gains a lot of impressions and has to find a rhythm in the group again. Make sure you don’t have to leave the schoolyard in a hurry in the morning, and keep your agenda empty as much as possible after school. In this way, your child can discharge peacefully with you.”
Look for nature
Jeanette: “Children receive many stimuli on a school day that they have to process. Preferably walk or cycle to and from school and also visit a park or forest after school. Discharge works through the senses: the wind on the skin, the feet in the sand. Give your child the space for that.”
10 to 14 years old: Don’t take action right away
Motivation expert Marieke Ringrose: “Children this age sometimes think their mentor or class is stupid after the first day of school. Don’t try to go along with that, but don’t downplay the situation either. Listen to your child and acknowledge the tension of a first week of school, but don’t immediately pick up the phone to inform the school. These struggles are very normal and children usually resolve it on their own.”
Stay available for help
Marieke: “Even if your child really wants to do it all himself, always remain available for help. Ask if you can do it at school, without being intrusive. Guiding instead of controlling. For example, agree that your child will do the schoolwork in his/her own way for a month. After a month you will see together whether that works and whether something should be done differently.”
Don’t focus too much on numbers
Marieke: “It can be demotivating if you, as a parent, get angry about every fail. Rather ask about the process that preceded it. Where did it go wrong? How can your child handle things differently in the future? A result means absolutely nothing if you don’t know what caused it.”
15 to 18 years old: make something special of the first week of school
Adolescent coach Janneke ter Bille: „Adolescents like to go back to school somewhere, but are afraid of the homework and the expectations they have to meet again. The first week is often an introduction. In that case, your child usually does not have to be at school ‘full-time’. Go out together to get new school supplies, pick out a brand new outfit or go on a fun outing.”
Take care of regularity
janneke: “Build in regularity from the last days of vacation and into the first week of school. In adolescents, the sleep hormone melatonin is released late in the evening, making it difficult for them to fall asleep at night. So try to encourage your child to go to bed at a normal time and set the alarm. That helps to get used to the structure again.”
Get through the coming year
Janneke: „Prepare your child for the coming period and pulse where you are needed. Ask questions: ‘What do you dread? What can you use help with?’ Don’t do that directly across from each other at the kitchen table, but keep it casual. For example, if you bake something together.”
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