Harrie goes to gay meeting places: ‘It’s not just about the sex’

Almost everyone knows a gay hangout. These are places where men can come into contact with other men anonymously, often next to the highway or on the edge of a forest. These places are still important to many men, as Harrie* also tells a visitor to such places. “They are like-minded people that you don’t always meet in your village.”

On a summer Monday afternoon in July, the gay meeting place along the N277 towards Reek is busy. Cars drive back and forth and men walk to the bushes. This is one of the more famous gay meeting places in our province and one of the places Harrie regularly visits.

“It’s not just about intimacy.”

He prefers to remain anonymous. In the past, a group of young people tried to throw stones through a window of his house because he is gay. That is one of the reasons why he moved to Brabant and he has lived here for years now. Harrie is one of the spokespersons for Stichting Platform Keelbos, an interest group for visitors to gay meeting places.

Harry himself occasionally goes to gay meeting places and he speaks to many visitors. “It’s really not just about the sex. People also come to have a chat, without sex involved,” he explains. “At a meeting place in the area, I met two people who now sometimes come to the neighbourhood. They are like-minded people that you don’t always meet in your village.”

“He was badly beaten and refuses to report.”

According to Harrie, gay meeting places are still important today. “As long as gays are not accepted everywhere, the meeting places are necessary and they will continue to exist. Men are anonymous there and contacts are non-binding. That is very important. Men who have a wife, girlfriend or children also come. They are in a difficult situation. They can have contact with men here without leaving any traces behind.”

At the meeting places, men sometimes experience terrible things. “I know someone from the neighborhood who had to run for his life. He was badly beaten up and refuses to report it. I tried to persuade him to report it to the police, anonymously if necessary. But he doesn’t want that. He’s not even married, but apparently there is such a threshold. “

“The less fuss there is, the better such a place works.”

Omroep Brabant asked all municipalities in Brabant whether they know gay meeting places. More than half indicated that they had no insight into the places and that they had no indications that there was a need for them. They also do not receive reports of nuisance. Almost all municipalities therefore do not have a special policy for this.

According to Harrie, this image is incorrect, but he does not think it is necessarily a bad thing that municipalities look the other way. “The less talk about it and the less fuss there is, the better such a place works.”

But according to him, there are also municipalities that pursue an active anti-policy. “Then suddenly measures are taken around such a place or investigative officers come by more often because something like this is not appropriate according to them. If it is not tolerated somewhere, people will go somewhere else.”

*Harrie is not his real name because he wishes to remain anonymous. His name is known to the editors.

READ ALSO: ‘To tackle anti-gay violence, more victims must report’

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