Gripping testimony of victim (37) during terror trial: “I have not known death, but hell” | Interior

“War invalid,” Northshield replied, when chairwoman Laurence Massart asked her about her profession at the start of her testimony, after she had entered the room on crutches. Northshield spent nearly four years in the hospital, including 79 days in intensive care. On the seat was shown a picture of her hip, completely gone. For months she was not given any chance of survival. With restrained rage, and the ferocity of the top athlete she was, she testified how the attack destroyed her life, but also the lives of twelve family members, “lives that need to be rebuilt”.

Northshield testified that she would travel to her family in the United States on the day of the attacks. She was queuing up at the check-in counter when the first explosion sent her flying into the air, “in the snap of a finger”. She asked to imagine what it would be like to be knocked over close by by the force of the bomb, with a heat of 3,000 degrees, and a boom of more than 190 decibels. “If you were in my place, your hip and legs would also be in a thousand pieces. Your body and mind would be in shock. You would feel the terror in your mind,” Northshield said. She also testified that it seemed like an eternity before she was taken away by ambulance as she fought for her life. “I’ve descended into hell,” she said.

Northshield said words are not enough to describe the suffering she endured to this day. That she is still here is due to the doctors and family who did not give up on her and her “will to live, courage, determination and, above all, a lot of resilience”.

“I did not know death, but hell,” said Northshield. “From a dynamic, happy, and healthy woman, with a bright future ahead of me, I became a woman who was near death.” Northshield described how nightmares, fears, and disabilities have dominated her life for seven years, she also described the many hospital stays and treatments that go on and on.

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Northshield testified that she still relives the events every day, from the airport to the hospital room. “Every day I hear the bomb, I feel the flames on my body. Every day I have to live with disabilities and the trauma, without rest. With the distorted image of myself. With the new life, which is actually none. Never again will I hear or sleep as before, eat, walk, live. My dreams are broken. I will never be a mom, my mom will never have grandchildren. My dad is shaking every time he sees me. My siblings, my parents and family are traumatized. I’ve lost seven years of my life and it’s still going on. It’s a battle I shouldn’t be fighting. While you breathe, I am fighting. While you eat, I’m fighting. While you’re having fun, I’m fighting,” she said.

Northshield said she was waging a “jihad of recovery,” not a “jihad of war,” as the accused did. You will not have my hatred nor my tears.

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She also denounced the administration she now struggles with. “A new battle, to return to my ‘normal’ life, a battle I shouldn’t be fighting.” The state failed, the woman said, testifying that she still has to undergo assessments after seven years. “The lack of humanity prolongs my suffering,” said Northshield, who, like many other victims, lashed out at the Belgian government and insurers.

“I am not only strong for myself, but also for my family, the children I will never have. For the 12 million Belgians, the 36 million French, for the more than 300 million Americans who support me. And I hope they all applauding at the finish line,” concluded Northshield.