33-year-old Harry P. from Bergeijk is on trial in Den Bosch because he is said to have led a drug gang. On the first day of the hearing, he caused a surprise by proposing to his girlfriend from the suspect’s bench. She said yes, but how can you imagine that if he is convicted and ends up in jail for years?
Getting married in prison. It doesn’t happen often, but it’s certainly not unique either. The Custodial Institutions Agency (DJI) even has a scenario for this. But whether you can turn it into a romantic wedding, that is still the question.
Marrying someone who is in a Dutch prison is possible. Marriage is a fundamental right, so the prison cannot refuse this. “It doesn’t happen often,” says DJI spokesperson Charlotte Hees. But for those exceptional cases, the DJI has a scenario ready. It states everything that needs to happen to make such a wedding possible.
First of all, a detainee must request permission from the management with a letter of motivation. Then the planning begins. The prison must contact the municipality to determine the wedding date. The municipality will then let you know who will be the wedding officiant. About two weeks before the wedding date, the prison discusses with the official what the program will be. The prison coordinates with security what is a suitable place within the prison for the wedding and how it will be secured.
In the meantime, the betrothed have to get married. This means that the intention to get married is registered with the municipality. The prisoner must authorize his or her partner to do so.
Six witnesses and guests
Then it’s time for the wedding. The bridal couple must have a total of six witnesses. “That could be friends or family, but also other detainees,” explains Hees. These must be indicated well in advance so that people can be screened.
At least two witnesses are enough for a ‘normal’ wedding, but a marriage with a prisoner is considered a ‘special wedding’. That means it will not be held in a public wedding venue. Because there are fewer people present who can object publicly, there must be six witnesses.
Coffee and cake
After the ceremony, it’s time for the party. In this case it will come down to a short moment with coffee and cake. That is at the expense of the bridal couple. Incidentally, there will not be many guests. The bridal couple is not allowed to invite anyone, except for the six witnesses. “It’s not like anyone can throw a party. The witnesses are the only guests.”
And a wedding night for the newlyweds? That’s not in it either. “After the wedding, the detainee is taken back to his or her ward. All guests, the bride or groom and the official must then go outside again.”
The couple is then allowed to see each other for an hour under supervision once a week, just like other prisoners who receive visitors. Once a month, detainees are allowed a ‘relationship-enhancing visit’. Then couples are allowed to isolate themselves for a while in a special room. It’s not a wedding night, but it’s better than nothing.
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