The conversations that Frank Dane has on the radio with Dutch celebrities are cringe-inducing. André Hazes Jr. even got such a huge shower of slime yesterday that they are still mopping at 538.
The endless raving about celebrities is definitely out of date, but time has apparently stood still with Frank Dane and his laughing bags. If André Hazes Jr. in Franks 538 broadcast picks up the phone from yesterday, he and his colleagues start booing and clapping like a crazy kindergarten class. “Andre Hazeeeeeeess!!!!”
‘Your best friend!!!’
Sidekick Airen Mylene is overjoyed to hear André’s voice. “How great!!!”
Frank then hysterically: “André, with your best friend!”
André then calmly: “Yes, I hear it.”
Frank even more hysterical, spreading his arms: “It’s Frank from the radio!”
André sober: “Yes, I am very happy to hear you.”
Congratulate
Then Frank starts his congratulatory conversation. “I just want to congratulate you.”
André: “At 18 months?”
Frank: “Yeah, dude! 18 months altogether clean!”
Clean from the addiction initially denied by André and Rachel. André: “Yes, man.”
Frank: “And you’re still fun!”
André: “Yes, and that surprised me too. That was my biggest fear.”
‘Good question!’
Frank: “How nice man. Is it something to be proud of?”
André: “I think it’s the best performance of my life, yes.”
Sidekick Jelte van der Goot: “How do you celebrate?”
Frank pondering: “No, but good question.”
André: “I am now with that little one and Monique and tomorrow with those people from Spain with whom I was in that clinic. They are in the Netherlands and tomorrow we will eat together.”
Frank turns up the slime shower: “I saw you on stage this weekend and I was just a little proud.”
André: “Ah, I like that.”
Back with Mo?
All tricky Hazes issues are deftly avoided by Frank and his friends, but sidekick Jelte asks André about his umpteenth declaration of love to Monique Westenberg. “You post says you love Monique very much, but are you back with her?”
André: “Yes, look, that is very much made of it.”
Ah, André posts a declaration of love, then posts that he wants to see Monique in her yellow panties, and then the media has made a big deal out of it again. And let that absolutely not be André’s intention!
How about then? “It may sound very strange, but we have found a shape that works well for us. I have my house in Wilnis, she lives here near Rotterdam and the way we do it just works very well.”
Friends with benefits
Frank curious: “Friends with benefits?”
André: “Yes, there are, yes.”
Well, then Frank really loses his temper completely. With a cracking voice, he starts to applaud André in a pubescent way: “Are the benefits there?!!?!?! Andrew man! Man!”
André: “Yes, of course. The Mondays that I sleep here, I don’t get to rest.”
Frank screaming hysterically: “Wooooow!!! He’s done it!!! Andre, how good!”
So much emptiness on the radio and then be surprised that the listening figures collapse. Incredible.