Hello, you people in East and West who are plagued by the heat! do you know that You open the internet and someone announced that they always thought something was shit and that’s supposed to interest people? Come in to the new pop column! This time on the topic: “The last rebellion of the distinction heinis”.
The last gasp of the distinction Heinis
For those same jerks, it’s not just important where you stand in pop culture, but where you’ve always been, and that’s on the cool side. From the moment they were born, they knew what was appropriate! “Cool” is a word that fortunately no longer applies, just like “hip” or “in”. Hip, trendy, popular. Of course, the coolest, hippest, deepest people were into what they thought wasn’t cool, hip or in, but it’s always the same soup, the same results of the pop industry, only sometimes a little bit smaller, a little bigger, a little more colourful, a little quieter, a little more forgotten, a little higher on the charts. That’s why, for example, indie used to be considered authentic, but not R’n’B, which is why I stopped listening to the latter sometime in the mid-noughties, even though it’s the best music. But we went to a student club at the time, and white male music was the only right music there. And “distinction” is of course just a word that I learned from the student club heinis.
Only later did I have to learn that supposed authenticity is STILL more complicated. And that brings us to Coldplay for a moment, sorry. But they were last on tour in Germany and POLARIZED again. In the mainstream pop radio viva world I come from, Coldplay has long been considered indie, rockin’ and kinda alternative. It wasn’t until I got into the local music critic world that I was confronted with the fact that the band must be considered uncool. Hey, why is that? Oh, you have to like Tocotronic instead? Well, I took that with me. To this day, no one has been able to explain the haters’ coldplay problem to me in an understandable way, other male bands have also played in stadiums, other male bands have also experimented with their style of music, other male bands have also been in the charts and so on. Of course I understood it today, because I’m so smart: Bands like Coldplay are too feminine, too colourful, too soft – not only musically, but also personally – and above all they are liked by too many women, the concerts are full of them them, barrrgh, how are you supposed to drink, burp, fart (funny, I know we all do) in peace?
Coldplay are hated by the same people who taunt girls and young women or smear them online for wearing men’s band shirts. Of course, the assumption is always: the girl with her girl’s ears can’t grasp the genius of the band, ergo: don’t know it. She is lying! Wants to adorn himself with the band! Want attention! Unlike the 50 year old male fans who don’t want attention talking about their favorite band and buying their merch all day long! It’s about bands like Nirvana, the Rolling Stones or Led Zeppelin, whose songs are hits today that everyone knows. And each!
Another problem for many male fans is that there are people who discover the band at a later point in time than themselves.
There was this awesome scene recently in Stranger Things that you all know by now:
Eddie plays “Master of Puppets,” the Metallica song from 1986. After Kate Bush’s “Running Up That Hill” re-entered the charts through its use in “Stranger Things” (all media reported), the same fate befell now also this classic. The band thought it was great, many fans did too, but some didn’t. Sale! This hit band is starred in a hit series, now everyone can hear Lump Metallica… just like before… right? And then there are children! They weren’t even there in 1986!!! Some of them weren’t born until twenty years later, how uncool can you be??? Of course you can be envious and cocky. Or just enjoy that people enjoy other music, as depicted in this adorable meme.
And Metallica themselves were so kind.
This is the summer hit of 2022
Now we come to the third example and above all to – finally! – Summer hit 2022.
No one saw this incredible smash coming, and it’s so perfect from start to finish that I never considered being blown away by it. And the combo Kraftklub & Tokio Hotel also makes complete sense to me, because we are all Ossis and the Kaulitz brothers and couple from Kraftklub belong to the Class of 1989 like me, so these two bands seem so close to me that I would have thought anyway , they know each other. BUT THE EXCITEMENT WAS HUGE ON SOCIAL NETWORKS. Again something with sales, inauthentic, embarrassing, “That’s enough, I’m canceling my album pre-order!!!” and so on. Wait a minute, Kraftklub are more indie than Tokio Hotel??? Well, they may have a little less money, live a little less in LA, be at the “Gala” a little less and all that. But don’t Kraftklub also play on huge stages, are in the charts and such? huh
But I had forgotten what kind of crass reflexes Bill Kaulitz triggers, always triggered. That Tokio Hotel had the most blatant haters in the mid-nineties and that was one of the reasons why they had to move away from Germany. And now the point is that the authentic male band Kraftklub (which they can’t do much about, but they are seen as such) has now been spoiled by the FAKEN Bill Kaulitz. Because where there’s make-up, where there’s glitter, where there’s high heels, that’s where it gets superficial, that’s where it gets stupid, that’s where it gets feminine and fake, that spoils the music, whereas a band in which everyone wears suspenders is real and down-to-earth is. Alright!
Kraftklub and Tokio Hotel react confidently; Both in the current podcast episode “Radio mit K” (with Steffen Israel and Felix Kummer) and in “Kaulitz Hills” (where Israel and Kummer are guests with the Kaulitz brothers), they address hatred and also reflect on where this one comes from. Plus, they’re smart enough to know that all the hate spreads, too, so make the best of it, chapeau!
Of course, like many others, I hate this stupid question about whether we don’t have any other problems at the moment, but it’s becoming more and more obvious: We have other problems than thinking about which music to consume makes you particularly interesting. That’s all over, the decision is out, we’re enjoying from now on. See you at the Coldplay Tokyo Hotel Mary J Blige Festival of my dreams, COME RIDE WITH ME, IM 4 TIMES 4!
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