According to Petra Lueb, aunt of Fleur Bloemen, a lot has been achieved in recent years. The message has penetrated many schools, and a special anti-bullying protocol has been drawn up. But at the same time there is still a long way to go.
According to Lueb, social media play an important role in this: “Bullying seems to be becoming more and more extreme. It seems as if young people don’t care about everything. They often don’t think about what bullying can do to someone else. That is worrying. Look, not everyone who happens to this will do the same as Tim and Fleur, but bullying can make you more insecure and have far-reaching consequences for the rest of your life.”
Fleur’s parents have wondered countless times whether their daughter’s suicide could have been prevented. But they never noticed her. At home she was cheerful, eager to learn, at school she achieved resounding results and had friends. She even won a competition with her poem about bullying. She was very proud of that.
Although there were first signs at primary school. Mother Anneke: “I was walking on the market in Meppel when I was approached by a mother. She thought it was very brave that Fleur had cried in class and told what was going on. We knew nothing about it. But she turned out to be to have told about the problems at school.”
Reason for Fleurs parents to send their daughter to the Terra College in Meppel. Because no primary school tormentors went there. But at the end of the third year, problems arose again when a student from Fleurs former primary school also went to Terra College. But once home, Fleur put on her mask. “She came home singing, as she always did. A real cuddly child,” says mother Anneke.
And on the morning of December 11, 2012, nothing seemed to be wrong. Before mother Anneke went to work, Fleur called out: ‘See you this afternoon’. But once at work, she received a call from a neighbor. She had to come home. On her way there she got on the phone with her husband. Crying: ‘We lost our girl’. “I kept telling myself, ‘That’s not true, that’s not true’. But when I got home, I saw a police car in the driveway.”
Officers brought the school bag that was lying along the track. With a notebook in which Fleur had written everything down. The parents read everything back in it. How she was bullied at school, who her bullies were, but also what her funeral should look like. “What music should be played, which guests should come and especially who were not welcome. She had already prepared her funeral.”
They have not heard much from the bullies. “There was one who wrote a letter about a year later. That she should move on with her life. But then I was like, ‘You’re the one who took away our child’s chance to move on with her life’. I So I didn’t need much contact with her.”
Ten years later, the sadness is still as great. Maybe even bigger, says mother Anneke. “Fleur’s nephews and nieces are about the same age. That makes it extra difficult. You see them grow up. How they get their diploma, get a job, children. Very confrontational, because we miss all of that.”