«Chi, I’m Jolanda, I’m 19 years old and every time, since I was little, before leaving the house I hear myself say “Be careful”». Thus begins the long video shared by Jolanda Renga on TikTok. The eldest daughter of Ambra and Francesco Renga entrusted her thoughts on feminicides and violence against women to social media, first telling her experience as a 19-year-old and then launching an appeal to the parents of all children so that they can teach their children not only respect for women but also the value of saying no.
Jolanda Renga: «The pepper spray given to me by my grandparents»
«I’m 19 years old and one of the gifts I received from my grandparents was pepper spray to put in your bag. My mother is afraid when I tell her that I have to take public transport even if it is daytime» says Jolanda Renga in her video. And she continues by underlining the differences between male and female who live right on her skin: «I’m 19 and my brother is 17, but he’s not afraid to walk alone on the street. I am 19 years old and I continually hear news of women who are killed by those who said they loved them and who die from jealousy, from the belief of others that they can be masters and control them. I’m 19 years old and I’ve never heard anyone tell a friend of mine that he should be driven home, I’ve never heard anyone give a guy recommendations similar to the ones I receive.”
In no way is violence synonymous with love
Jolanda then points the finger at those who, in certain situations, dare to judge women. “Instead I often feel that women sometimes seek violence, that our clothes are clearly provocative, that our attitudes trigger anger, that we should realize sooner that those close to us could be dangerous” he says.
And he underlines: «Yet I rarely hear these individuals say that they should not dare to consider women their property. That nothing can justify the beatings and that in no way can violence be synonymous with love because if I don’t realize the danger in time it’s not my fault. “Love, trust, compassion for a loved one cannot lead me to such a tragic and unjust fate: dying for this is unacceptable.”
What should be taught to children
“Please, teach your children that a woman is not property, that a woman is free and should not be judged, held back or violated. Teach them not to repress their feelings but show them with respect and without imposing them. Teach them to ask for help and not to think that they have to manage on their own so as not to risk being considered weak. Teach them the value of a no, of a silence, of a refusal” continues Ambra’s daughter.
And he concludes: «Explain to him that another person’s will cannot be changed to our liking. But, above all, teach them that they can be fragile and that this does not mean being less of a man. Teach them that sometimes fragility and tears are true strength. Teach them that there is no shame in being vulnerable and crying, and this too is man, this too is male. But, above all, he is human.”
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