Whenever journalist Saskia Belleman looks through court files, she is struck by how many cases revolve around men who murdered their (ex) wives or girlfriends. She wonders: how is it possible that femicide, especially in the Netherlands, is such a big problem, and yet so underestimated? Belleman thought it would be a good idea to also speak to a man about this subject. Colleague Wilson Boldewijn shares his thoughts in a number of uncomfortable sentences: “I understand that as a man you can be very possessive – emotionally – towards a woman. Which of course does not justify what is happening here at all. Because this is a pretty serious subject, but men are conditioned differently. But the figures can indeed no longer be denied.”
In She’s mine activism is explicitly omitted. Belleman prefers to stick to the facts. Not a bad idea: they speak for themselves. Every eight to ten days a woman is killed in the Netherlands by her partner or ex. Reports of threats were often not taken seriously, as the story in the first episode shows. Reagan Perez raised the alarm with the police seventeen times before her ex murdered her in 2019. Her sister concludes: “For me, filing a report is for the stage: it ultimately makes no difference.”
And so Belleman and Boldewijn encounter the concept of ‘active denial’, the resistance to letting facts about femicide sink in. Criminologist Renée Römken explains: “The self-image of men in the Western world is driven by the notion that men are able to control themselves.” These figures directly contradict this and therefore hold a mirror up to men. What a move for Belleman to invite Boldewijn.