Fagioli: “On May 25th I would like to play, I really want to. And the Europs would be a dream

“Now I’m much better. A year ago it was the most difficult moment of my life, then with Paolo’s help I’m improving – said Juce midfielder Nicolò Fagioli during the event against gambling “Taxi 1729″ -. Now my family, my friends, playing sports makes me feel good. I started the first times when I was sixteen, at the beginning it was like a game, then little by little it became an illness, I started immediately with sports betting when I played for Juventus in the youth team. At first you think you know more, but then you understand that being a footballer doesn’t give you an advantage.”

the beginnings

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“Before I lost control I really liked playing, I was looking for dopamine without knowing it. Then I realized it was an illness, it took me too long to ask for help. Luckily in May I had the idea to do it. The tennis? I already played it when I was little and even today I’m good with the racket. Playing tennis helps me a lot, it amuses me and occupies my free time.” “Why did I sign up to illegal platforms? I couldn’t do it with my name in the meantime, even if at the beginning I didn’t know what the difference was between .it and .com. I don’t know the real reason, then I continued because I felt comfortable with it . Playing online, whether it is illegal or not, it is difficult to win. Losses are instantaneous, winnings take time and therefore you reload immediately, perhaps this is the mechanism why the house always wins. I don’t know why I started, perhaps the loneliness and distance from home had an impact.”

relationship with others and with the telephone

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My relationship with friends and family had changed, I always wanted to be alone, it seemed to me that spending time with them was a waste. And this is the thing that has changed the most in my life. I was always nervous, my only outlet was the match because I trained badly and this made me a player who didn’t give 100% on the pitch.” On the other hand, my relationship with the telephone was very close: “I spent between 10 and 12 hours a day. Now? Now I don’t play anymore, I use the phone for 3-4 hours. I played video games, but not a lot. One or two hours a day, on Fifa or Call of Duty. Being a footballer is not a risk factor, economic availability doesn’t have too much of an impact because then if you have 100 games 100, if you have 1 you play 1”.

the promise

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“I really want to get back on the pitch, I can’t wait. The disqualification ends on May 19th, on the 26th I should play the last match of the championship. The European Championships? They’re a dream. From my point of view, it would have helped me to play football “Staying away from the pitch is a punishment they gave me but it made everything even more difficult for me. I was forced to accept it otherwise I would never come back.” The first positive signs: “I realized I was on the right track when I started appreciating the time spent with my family and friends again. My teammates and the club helped me a lot by being close to me. I miss the locker room before the matches, but for the rest it’s as if nothing had happened. After the ‘casino’ came out I was more focused on avoiding other things about me coming out in the newspapers than in the rest, then after the first two weeks I went back to thinking about the team and it was hard not being able to participate in matches and away games.”

the reaction

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“At first I felt anger and shame when all the things in the newspapers came out, then I experienced a moment of peace. And now I just want to get back on the pitch. I didn’t receive the insults I feared at the stadium, I think of San Siro Even on the street. I continue to do what I wanted peacefully.” The hardest times are now behind us: “Not sleeping at night, all the time it took me to receive calls, messages… I asked for help because I had hit rock bottom. It seems trivial, but even at 16 years old I thought I could control myself and I didn’t believe anyone who told me about illness.”