By Konstantin Marrach
How does Germany love and – above all – how does Berlin actually love? A new study has investigated this. The online portal ElitePartner surveyed 2380 singles and 4396 couples. In terms of sex in particular, some extremely slippery facts came out.
The good news first: every second Berliner (51 percent) is satisfied with their sex life. And sex is important to half of all capital city dwellers in order to feel closely connected to their partner.
However, when it comes to the frequency of sex in partnerships, there is also some bad news. The study of Elite Partners according to one in ten couples (ten percent) no longer having sex at all. And in almost every fourth marriage or relationship there has been intimacy less than once a month in the last year.
How to work on it? Especially with communication. A new position, more intense foreplay or sex in a threesome – every second couple can talk openly about sexual desires and live out most erotic fantasies with their partner.
After all, 24 percent of couples have sexual intercourse several times a week. And 19 percent at least once a week.
Newly married couples are the most satisfied with their sex life. But it also means: The initial one
Passion too often doesn’t last, and sexual satisfaction can drop significantly over time. While almost eight out of ten couples who have lived together for three years are satisfied with desire and passion, this only applies to six out of ten couples after a relationship of ten years or more.
On the positive side: according to the study, sexual satisfaction remains at a constant level after a relationship has lasted ten years.
The study also asked about the consequences of not having enough sex and intimacy. Almost every third man (30 percent) says that too little desire and passion makes him more tense and irritable. In women, 17 percent feel similar effects.
This fact also shows that couples should work on their sex life: 20 percent of men and seven percent of women stated that they were tempted to cheat when there was a lack of sex.
There are many reasons for not having enough sex. In addition to the decreasing desire for each other over the course of the relationship, another fact stands out: 21 percent of those surveyed stated that they felt uncomfortable in their own bodies when it came to intimacy.
Psychologist Lisa Fischbach led and evaluated the study for ElitePartner. She says: “Physical closeness and sexuality are important for experiencing satisfaction in partnerships, and they also take on very different functions. Kissing, tender touches or having sex confirm couples in their feeling of togetherness.”
And further: “For men, physical intimacy is even more a non-verbal expression of their emotions and a way to strengthen their love and commitment. For these reasons, sex also has a relationship-stabilizing effect into old age.”
Although sexual frequency decreases with age and years of relationship, many couples are able to maintain their sexual satisfaction. “In long-term relationships, quantity is increasingly losing its influence as a quality feature for good sex,” says the expert. “More important is how couples manage their lust, talk about their individual needs, and find a way to meet them together.”