Entrepreneur René Aalders from Hoogeveen led a good life. A series of financial, personal and physical setbacks caused major problems for him and his family. He tells his candid story, with a clear message.
Life smiled at him. René Aalders (39) from Hoogeveen was successful in information technology (ICT/Web design) and socially active at, among others, the community center in Krakeel.
A busy life, sometimes with 70-hour working weeks. “They didn’t see me much at home,” he says. But in a material sense it brought him a lot. “We didn’t have to worry about the money, we surrounded ourselves with beautiful things and we went on holiday regularly.”
‘Weird sensation’
In 2017, his existence turned upside down. One day, while at work, René suddenly couldn’t move his arm for a few minutes. “A strange sensation.” He didn’t pay much attention to it. “Just get a good night’s sleep and it will be over,” I thought.
But the next day, at the office, he got it again. Anyway, I called the doctor. He had a clear diagnosis: severely stressed. “Then all the trouble started.”
Income plummeted
René ended up at home and saw his income plummet due to hassles surrounding his disability insurance. It turned out that he paid out much less than he thought he was entitled to. “My mistake too,” the Hoogevener admits. “I wasn’t focused on that when I closed.”
After that setback, René, who now had a sole proprietorship, tried to go back to work. “According to the insurer, I could work 14 hours a week, but that was not possible. I quickly got tired.” An additional worker, which he hired, did not prove to be a lasting success.
In the meantime, the backlog in his work increased so much that he started working again. “I wanted to keep that store afloat and be able to support my family. But after a few months I collapsed again.”
Debts mounted
Because the insurance stopped paying out, the family could no longer pay their housing costs. Debts mounted and it became increasingly difficult to make ends meet. “You fill holes with holes, but you sink further and further,” he characterizes.
It took a toll on the family with two growing children, now 12 and 13 years old. “We told them what was going on,” says René. “Our daughter was into horse riding, but we could no longer afford that. We were used to luxurious holidays, but from now on we stayed at home. All the extras that we took for granted disappeared.”
Those close to me barely knew about the situation, partly out of shame. “It is not something you easily share,” says his wife Mariejanne. “You don’t want to air your dirty laundry and solve it yourself.”
To block
People with money problems or debts are known to become blocked under high pressure and are no longer able to take the right action. The consequences can be very drastic. Social isolation, depression, absenteeism, relationship problems, divorce.
The Aalders family managed to cope with these effects. “But,” says Mariejanne, “René was in bad shape. It was completely locked.”
Bank calls
The stress caused by the situation deprived the family of a way out of their problems. “At one point the bank was on the line. The message: if there is no prospect of a stable solution, think about selling the home. Then we really didn’t know what to do anymore, everything just slipped out of our hands.”
In desperation, the family contacted Schuldhulpmaatje in Hoogeveen, which guides those seeking help to a healthy financial household. “I knew a few people from that agency,” says René. “It was certainly not an easy step, but it was necessary.”
‘Submit choices’
Two volunteers, Bert Warmelink and Geert de Weerd, delved into the situation and guided the family for a year and a half. “We offer people choices, but we do not take responsibility or control out of their hands,” Bert emphasizes. “We want to help those seeking help with everything, but without financial support.”
Both volunteers examined all income and expenditure of the Aalders family. Result: two cars were exchanged for a Fiat Panda, the rented garage and office building were disposed of, subscriptions were canceled and budget cuts were implemented. René: “My quite big ego was broken down piece by piece. That didn’t feel good, but it had to be done.”
Exciting
They say that ‘raising the hatches’ has brought a lot to the family. Mariejanne: “It’s exciting to do, but you learn a lot from it and you also experience support from others. People spontaneously brought shopping packages and clothing or donated some money for a family outing. Heart warming.”
The Aalders family is now debt-free. They have a different outlook on life, attach less importance to money and property and live healthier lives. “Home delivery came here too often,” laughs René. “Eating your problems away really doesn’t help.” Mariejanne: “Less stuff doesn’t mean a less fun life.”
‘On our own’
Volunteer Bert Warmelink calls the couple ‘tough’. “They took all the steps themselves, arranged everything themselves. On your own. We also see processes fail. Then people choose to no longer allow us into their personal lives. They are free to do so.”
René calls on people with money problems or debts to sound the alarm in time. “No matter how difficult it is, don’t keep walking around with it. It may sound crazy, but I’m glad we experienced this, because we can now help others with it. People need each other.”
Cyst
Financially speaking, the sun has broken through again in the Aalders household, but the family is not without worries. The latter is related to René’s health, who continued to have complaints. A final scan showed he has a benign cyst in his head.
He will be operated on soon. Two fellow sufferers who previously underwent this difficult procedure, including Cambuur trainer Henk de Jong, feel reborn. René also wants to seize this opportunity. He has no big dreams or plans for the future.
“I especially want a stable life and want to be a good husband and father.”
More worries about money
More than 620,000 households in the Netherlands have problematic debts. They cannot pay bills, have payment arrears and are unable to resolve this themselves. Of young adults (18-35 year olds), 70 percent have had payment problems in the past twelve months. More people are worried about money, even those who have a higher income. The national Schuldhulpmaatje is active in 151 municipalities with almost 3,100 volunteers. According to the website of this foundation, 1 in 2 people in Hoogeveen have problems making ends meet. Debt help buddy helps sixty to eighty people every year to get out of the financial swamp. The foundation has been in existence for ten years now.