For some time now I have seen them cycling past my house in large numbers early in the morning. Young people on their way to school. And every year the question comes to my mind: are they on their way to the right education? And every time my answer is: I doubt it.
Why? Let me begin the explanation with a provocative question. Which of the following best predicts academic success in secondary, higher or university education? Is that (a) interest, (b) IQ (intelligence), (c) diligence, or (d) self-control?
It is rare that when I ask the question to a group of teachers, the majority gives the correct answer. That is: self-control ( self-control in English). Of course, the other factors also matter, but not to the extent that self-control does. This becomes clear when I explain the five skills that together determine self-control or self-control.
1. Self-awareness or (recognizing) your own feelings – being able to recognize and articulate a feeling the moment it happens is the cornerstone of self-control. Inability to perceive feelings often means being at their mercy. Being more aware of your feelings therefore means being a better pilot of your own life and more confident in how you really feel about the important personal decisions in your life.
2. Dealing with feelings – this involves the ability to reassure or calm oneself, tolerate anxiety, manage irritation, and cope with sadness. Crucial conditions for success and happiness in life.
3. Being able to motivate yourself – to put feelings, or the energy associated with them, at the service of longer-term goals. Self-control, in the form of delaying gratification and controlling (distracting) impulses, is essential for creativity and achieving significant achievements in school and beyond.
4. Recognizing feelings in others – empathy, the ability to perceive the nature and intensity of others’ feelings, is ‘the basic human skill’. People who are empathetic are more attuned to the subtle signals others are sending about what they need or what concerns them. More empathy means functioning better in all kinds of ‘care’ professions, as well as leaders of (research) teams or companies and in intimate relationships.
5. Building and Maintaining Relationships – Because our existence is essentially a ‘connection’, our social skills or lack thereof co-determine how our lives will turn out and what we will do in them.
Of course, people differ in their innate predisposition on these five psychological skills, just as they also differ in predisposition in academic skills (arithmetic, language, etc). But just like there, psychological skills also have a lot to learn.
You would therefore expect educational institutions to put a lot of effort into self-control curricula and on tracking/reporting student progress in this regard. But there too, it appears that a war will be won in the coming years.
Also see: www.lifeskills.nl