The positive side of almost two years of corona, and three postponed performances? Wende Snijders (43) grins into the webcam. “I’ll have a show of six thousand songs soon.” Because ‘thank god’ there is pen and paper, and you can always write during lockdowns.
Today would be her show The Wilderness premiere in Paradiso. After four previous premiere dates, that dot on the horizon has shifted again, to April 8. Strangely enough, this time I found it the hardest. Maybe because the confidence is gone that it will continue. That eats you up. At the same time, I will throw myself back into it with full dedication.’
The realization of such a show, from the first rehearsal to the premiere, has a certain rhythm in terms of duration, effort and energy dose. A performer’s body becomes attuned to this ‘mental, emotional and physical arc’, ‘just like in top sport’.
‘But this time it seemed as if my body hesitated: give everything again for an uncertain outcome? Performing in front of an audience is such a lifeline, that energy doesn’t flow right now. I also notice that physically.’
That became clear when she was able to play with Amsterdam Sinfonietta in Carré last summer. ‘The strings set in, and I immediately cried. How that music vibrates inside you, how your lungs, how your heart opens when you sing, that is irreplaceable. I realize once again that that’s what I live for: singing for someone else. I miss it very much.’
What do you do to alleviate that physical lack?
‘To keep moving. Yoga, rocycling, strength training, walking; I walk like an accident, for me that is a form of meditation. I started studying the piano, Ravel, Schubert, Debussy, half an hour every day. That is comforting, and an exercise in concentration and patience.
‘Each lockdown I focused on the four D’s: The Things That Continue. Walking, cooking, painting, reading, listening to podcasts, it was all possible. And taking a bath is never cancelled, haha.
‘When the curfew was introduced in December 2020, I thought: now I have to come up with something, I have to counter-colour. Then I wrote down ten things every day for a year that I am grateful for.’ She holds up a thick book in front of the webcam. “The Book of Thanks.”
What’s in there?
‘Speaking to Anjali, eating with Nils and Nicky, brainstorming Kaleidoscope. Mozzarella sandwich.’ Those kind of things! Or here: ‘Write. Day off. Mommy’s cookies.’ What I find encouraging is that they aren’t big things at all. Apparently there’s some sort of minimal gratitude foundation that I can always tap into.’
You seem particularly capable of keeping yourself meaningfully occupied.
‘Yes, actually, huh? Between the ages of 6 and 9 I lived in a small compound in Guinea-Bissau, where there were no other children except my brother and I. We had two videotapes: Mary Poppins and The Sound of MusicI had to make do with myself and my imagination. I think it’s good if you’re bored to death as a child, and we were richly served in that. That way you become quite self-reliant.
‘When I was 40 I did a Vision Quest, a spiritual retreat into nature. I spent three days and nights on a mountain in France with nothing but water and a sleeping bag. Alone and apart from the noise of everyday life I can really feel what I want, that’s fantastic. That’s what the idea is for The Wilderness originate.
‘Developing resilience, that keeps me busy, as a person and as an artist. How do you turn the misfortunes of life into gold? Because if you master the art of resilience, I think you understand the art of living.’
The Wilderness, premiere 8/4. Info and tickets: wende.nu
Are you or do you know someone who has found a good way to stay mentally healthy during this time of adversity? Mail to [email protected]